This week’s BH90210 really starts over the weekend, when Ian Ziering took on a tsunami of blue, aquatic flesh-eaters in his the latest Syfy channel movie, Zombie Tidal Wave. Ziering is hoping to ride the wave of his Sharknado success with another low budget, b-movie franchise. As you can guess from the title, this time it’s zombies instead of sharks and tidal waves instead of tornados. Unfortunately, the film was sorely lacking in the humor department, and it really missed the goofy celebrity cameos that made the Sharknado movies so fun. Still, it was impressive to see Ziering keep a straight face throughout the entire film.
Let’s get into this weeks’ BH90210. It was all about Tori Spelling’s struggles as a producer as she tried to juggle the drama of the cast and the pressure from Christine Elise. Elise is no fool and has noticed that Tori has been very generous to the cast, like making Priestley the director and putting Garth in charge of casting.
|Mega Burgers for everyone.|
It was a mega-moment.
Then the gang gather for a table reading and continue to bicker like a bunch of spoiled children. Garth and Priestley’s tryst is finally revealed to the group. This leads to a whole lotta “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me” moments and it kicks the tension between Garth and Priestley up to Kelly and Brandon levels.
We also learn that the gang likes to refer to Tori Spelling as T, like Tony Soprano, and Ian Ziering as Z, as in Zombie Tidal Wave.
Speaking of Z, Ziering shows up to the studio hungover from a binge inspired by his divorce. (Which seems to be moving faster than a zombie tidal wave.) He asks a young woman he believes is an assistant for some coffee and compliments her on her looks. He gets hit with a tsunami of #MeToo as he learns that his old shtick with the ladies is now considered inappropriate. In usual Steve Sanders style, he sees himself as the victim and later goes back to the bar to drown his sorrows with the boys. He even does a Bar Mat shot, where he pours of all of the liquid spilled onto the bar mat into a glass. It’s disgusting, and the most impressive thing he’s done since killing a flying great white shark with a chainsaw.
Z also punches the writer that Priestley hates. That lands the gang in group therapy where we get an appearance by Mother Walsh herself, Carol Potter. Apparently, she’s now a therapist. The session does not go well, as the gang continues to bicker and surprisingly downplay the murder dolls they all received. Except for Garth, who decides to get a bodyguard. Or booty-guard.
Jennie goes home and adjusts to life with a hunky bodyguard and before you can say “Whitney Houston” they are flirting. This enables Garth to lighten up on Priestley and she encourages him to come clean with his wife and maybe give the baby a chance. Priestley takes her advice and tells his wife about Vegas.
However, he simply can’t work with the sleazy writer that knocked her up, so he goes around T and talks to Emily Valentine. Eventually T has to “Nut Up or Shut Up” as a producer, so she gathers her courage and fires the writer. He seems to take it well, but he does one of those faces to the camera as he’s leaving, so we know he’s got something up his sleeve.
Brian Austin Green ends up hiring Zach as his new assistant, mostly because Zach does not seem as enamored with his pop star wife as everyone else. Unfortunately, Zach is his stalker, and he now has the keys to Green’s house.
Gabby’s husband is not thrilled with her new sexual awaking. She’s into women. He is not a woman. I can see his dilemma. I’ve got one word for him… or maybe it’s three. I don’t know, I don’t speak French, but the word is ménage à trois. Perhaps he should see this as an opportunity and suggest that Gabby bring home a friend. It’s worth a try.
It turns out that Christine Elise is very okay with the direction that Gabby wants to take Andrea on the show, and herself in real life. She encourages Gabby to embrace method acting and to do some research. This leads to Gabby using a dating app and suddenly we realize that Gabrielle Carteris just might make out with Emily Valentine sometime soon.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Tori packs a bag and heads for Peru. There she climbs a mountain and finally makes it to a remote cabin where she finds the key to the entire reunion: Brenda Walsh. Shannen Doherty is finally convinced to join the show after T asks her to rescue her like she rescues all of those animals. How can she say no?
The episode ends with the gang recreating a classic group photo from the first season. Hopefully Luke Perry was looking down and smiling.
Next week… will it be a special Valentine’s Day for Gabby?
Tata for now.