This week picks up with Hodges’ hot blonde lawyer getting ready to head out to see her client. Her hair is pulled back and she puts on her glasses. But there is a knock at the door and when she opens it up she is sprayed in the face with some knockout gas. (It serves her right for just opening the door at 2 am.) A mysterious man and woman overpower her and the woman proceeds to adopt her persona, right down to sexy glasses and a false thumb print. She may look like a bookworm, but we know underneath it all there’s a naughty, “She’s My Cherry Pie” girl waiting to get out.
I wonder… would a false thumb print would work if you tried to impersonate The Fonz?
I doubt it. That’s one thumb you can’t fake.
Meanwhile, Tony plots his next move while Boss Moss just lies there… deader than a door nail. Galvez, the Starkwood operative that stole the canister, is on the run. Tony shoots himself in the side to conceal the fact that he is helping the suspect. Yeah, that old gag. Doesn’t he realize that Sean, the FBI mole from this morning, tried the same thing after he shot his girlfriend back at headquarters?
When the cops show up, they attend to Tony while Galvez finds a place to hide in the neighborhood. But he can’t go far because the FBI has cordoned off the area. So Tony spends a good amount of time funneling back information to help Galvez avoid being caught. They decide to pick a building in the last section of the search grid, lure all the FBI agents inside and then blow up the building. Kind of like a big, flaming Roach Motel, they can check in but they won’t check out.
Meanwhile, Kim Bauer plans on heading back to LA. Kim and Agent Lohan have a few words but I honestly got caught up in the fact that the hot 24 blonde was talking to the hot 24 redhead and I didn’t really catch what they were saying. Later on, Kim calls some dude who turns out to be her husband. We find out that Kim is married and has a daughter named Teri. (You long time 24 fans smiled when you heard that name, didn’t you?) So if Kim has a kid it means two things. Jack Bauer is a grandfather and Kim Bauer is officially a MILF.
Then Agent Lohan gets the news that Boss Moss is dead. She takes the news hard, but quickly has to snap out of it because she’s in charge now. It’s kind of like in The Lord of the Rings, when Gandalf falls in the Mines of Moria and Aragorn realizes that he now has to lead the Fellowship of the Ring. There’s no time to mourn. Now I don’t think that Aragorn was having an affair with Gandalf, but I suspect Renee Walker was with Larry Moss, because she asks Janice Garofalo to tell Larry’s wife the news. She says it wouldn’t be appropriate coming from her.
So Agent Lohan mobilizes the FBI, intent on bringing the killer of Boss Moss to justice. Jittery Jack decides to ride shotgun, promising to stay out of his way if he starts to get the shakes. Tony fills them in on the happs at the crime scene but Jack, channeling Columbo, won’t accept Tony’s story because things just don’t add up. Jack suspects that the suspect must have had an accomplice and the bullets just don’t make sense. So Tony scrambles to adjust his story, but knows that Jack is dangerously close to figuring things out.
Meanwhile the fake lawyer, we’ll call her Cherry Pie, visits Hodges in his cell. She works for the big, mysterious power that has been pulling the strings on Starkwood. Cherry Pie lays it out for Hodges. He has screwed up and now must kill himself or they will harm his family. She slips him a suicide pill that looks like a Hot Tamale. I’m sure when he first saw this attractive woman he was hoping she might slip him a little blue pill, not a red one. Later, while being transferred, Jonas pops the pill and goes into cardiac arrest. He is rushed to the hospital.
Galvez finds a building, set the charges and then commandeers one of the FBI’s radios and lures the rest of the agents into the building. But Jack gets a call from the agent that was debriefing him and learns of yet another hole in Tony’s story. He quickly figures out that Galvez has a radio and it’s a trap. But it’s too late for a lot of the agents. The building goes up and the FBI agents run for their lives. That is until Jack orders them to stop and hold the line. If they let this distraction work the bad guy will get away. Jack charges in and finds Renee. She’s feeling the heat from the fire, but she’s okay. But Tony has found Galvez and they sneak him out in the guise of an injured agent.
While Galvez gets away in an ambulance, Dr. Lecter style, Jack confronts Tony at gun point. Predictably, Jack gets the shakes right at the wrong time and Tony gets away.
Speaking of heat, how hot did Renee “Lohan” Walker look when she did that Green public service announcement during a break. If you asked me, I’d say she was the one causing those polar caps to melt. Later on, Tony also does a global warming message, but nobody trusts him anymore, so who cares?
Next week, Jack and Hodges have a seizure contest in the hospital. It should be fun.
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