The first thing I learned during the opening credits tonight was that the cop-impersonating bad guy, Mike Farmer, is really named Davros. I also learned that Hassan Chop’s brother’s name is Farhad. I think a good nickname for him is simply Farthead.
So the first hour starts with Davros forcing his police partner to call in and switch shifts with him. Then he kills them. We all saw that coming.
Then we cut to a leather-clad Jack Bauer strutting the means streets of New York. It quickly gets very reminiscent of the opening sequence of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Jack walks by some locals shooting some b-ball who don’t appreciate him wandering around their turf and start making trouble in the neighborhood. One guy gets in Jack’s face, so Jack calmly flashes his gun. Then he asks them if they have seen his suspect and offers a hundred bucks for any info. One of the guys tells him the guy is across the street in one of the houses. Jack thanks them and says “Yo Holmes, smell ya later.”
And this Fresh Prince reference has inspired me to start referring to Freddie Prince as the Fresh Prince on this blog.
Jack discovers the bodies of cop and wife that Davros killed in the house and cautiously enters, but Davros is gone. However, he spots a couple of cops circling the house. He gets the jump on the cop in the backyard and tries to explain the situation, but the other cop sneaks up and zaps him with a tazer. Jack collapses into a convulsing pile of goo. I was hoping he might yell “Don’t taze me, Bro!” But this is Jack Bauer, and he doesn’t call people “Bro”.
Jack wakes up tied to a chair in the basement. For a second, I thought we might have a Zed-like situation, like in Pulp Fiction, but that’s not the case. It’s more like Reservoir Dogs. All that was missing was “Stuck in the Middle with You.” The big, bad cop wants to punish Jack because he thinks he’s a cop killer, and the good cop is too timid to stop him.
Meanwhile back at CTU, Chloe is worried about Jack, who has not checked in. But Hasting has bigger fish to fry. He’s trying to get Meredith Reed to spill the beans about the assassination attempt while his team decrypts her laptop. Meredith is not the type to kiss and tell, and doesn’t want to admit to her affair with Hassan Chop, but when they find her key to his place, she has no other choice. So Hastings has to call Hassan and awkwardly ask him if he’s been getting jiggy with Miss Reed. Farthead urges him to deny it, but Hassan can’t betray his beloved mistress. I guess his heart is as big as his hair.
Farthead calls Davros and tells him the bad news, but they decide to move ahead with the plan anyway. When the laptop is decrypted, CTU discover schematics of the UN and a plot to bomb the building. They quickly move to evacuate the building, despite Chloe’s warnings that they may be playing into the killer’s hands.
While all of this is happening, Kevin, the redneck that has been stalking Dana, shows up at CTU. You’d think the Counter Terrorism Unit would be a hard to find, as would the home addresses of their employees. But Kevin finds both CTU and Dana’s address without a hitch. He must have used the advanced search feature on Google. Dana slips off her engagement ring and meets him out in the parking lot, where he goes practically goes Ike Turner on her. He obviously has something on her, so she gives him her keys and lets him crash at her apartment for the night. Besides the verbal abuse, I’m willing to bet he also made a bunch of long distance phone calls and ordered a bunch of pay-per-view porn at her place. That bastard.
Back in the basement, after taking a small beating, Jack manages to free himself and overpower the bad cop. Good cop steps in and finally corroborates Jack’s story with the authorities and they also figure out which cop is the assassin. When Jack gets word from Chloe about the bomb threat, the good cop gives him both a ride to the UN and his Jack Sack back.
CTU gets in touch with the Fresh Prince, but it’s too late to stop the evacuation. Hassan’s limo is already heading out to the street, where it will run over a bomb hidden in a manhole. Jack tells the Fresh Prince to stop that limo at all costs, so Fresh channels his inner Buffy, puts the pedal to the metal. He heroically drives his car in front of Hassan’s limo and takes the brunt of the explosion.
Did the Fresh Prince Survive? Will Davros get away? Will Farthead be discovered? Did the car crash muss up Hassan’s hair? We’ll find out in a few minutes, when the next hour begins.