Tuesday, April 20, 2010

24- Season 8.18: Corpse Bride

9 am

The year is 24 A.R.
That’s A.R., for After Renee. We are heading into the home stretch of the season and the series of 24. What else could we possible ask for than an angry Jack Bauer going rogue? But as usual, I’m getting ahead of myself.

We pick up at a quiet moment between Jack & Renee in the morgue. It’s quiet because Jack is in shock and Renee is toast. For a second I was hoping for a creepy Last Dance with Mary Jane moment, but the opportunity quickly passes when the ER staff comes to cart Renee off. And they are nice enough to furnish Jack with some fresh clothes. I wonder if that’s covered under President Taylor’s healthcare plan, and if so, what’s to co-pay on that snazzy shirt?

Speaking of healthcare, how about that Ethan? After almost dying of a cardiac arrest about an hour or two ago, he is not only back on his feet, but he’s dressed and ready for work. How does he do it? He must use Airborne or something. However, he almost has another heart attack when he hears that Madame President has allowed Charles Milhous Logan to intervene with the Russians without disclosing the nature of the leverage he has on them. No kidding Ethan, but remember that you recommended that she speak with him in the first place. Knucklehead. I think the both of you suffer from massive Brain-Farts more than any other ailment.

Meanwhile Chloe, the new head of CTU, reluctantly tells Jack about Agent Lohan’s suspicions of the Russian mob and the fact that Sergei is being arraigned nearby. Sergei, of course, is our Russian friend from earlier this season. You know… the guy who shot his own son. Well, apparently family has become a little more important to him since he was arrested, because he ends up giving Jack information in exchange for protection for his family. (Seems to me they’d be pretty safe with him behind bars.) All he can tell him is that the Russian government is behind the events of the day and that Denny is the one with all the information. She works for the Russians and that’s how she got into CTU in the first place. (I know, still ridiculous, but let’s just roll with it.)

Chloe sets up an interrogation session for Jack with Dana Lecter (I just decide that’s her new nickname, based on the cell they keep her in and the constant evil stare she holds on the surveillance cameras.) Wary that Jack might do something rash, Chloe asks Cole to monitor the session, just in case Jack gets out of hand. Jack wastes no time and almost immediately starts to beat information out of Dana Lecter. Chloe turns to Cole, but the Fresh Prince says to let Jack keep going.

Well DUH! What did you expect him to do? If your ex-fiancé, who just broke your heart and betrayed you and your country, was getting the snot kicked out of them, what would you do? LET ‘ER RIP! That’s what you would do. After a few cuts & bruises Dana predictably plays the immunity card one more time. She will spill the beans about all the players in the Russian government if she gets her deal back. Jack, knowing Madame President like he does, assumes it’s a slam dunk. It’s like asking the Silly Rabbit if he wants some Trix. Of course he does. But what Jack does not realize is that “Tricky Dick” Logan is up to his old trix and has blackmailed the Russians back to the peace table.

Once Charles Milhous Logan learns that Jack Bauer is talking to Dr. Lecter, he realizes he has to shut him up, so he meets with Madame Presidents and ends up telling her about the Russian’s involvement. Naturally, she is appalled, but eventually seduced by Logan to keep her mouth shut in the interest of the peace agreement and the greater good. Ethan protests, but his heart is just not in it. (Get it? Ethan, Heart?)

So Madame President heads to CTU to personally tell Jack to stand down. Before she meets with Jack she finally comes face-to-face with Chloe. It’s amazing that these two have never actually shared a scene together before. It’s kind of like Bill Murray and Chevy Chase in Caddyshack. It wasn’t until they were in the middle of filming the movie that they realized the two did not have a scene together, so the writers whipped one up and let the two improv their way to one of the most memorable moments in the movie. Unfortunately, our girls don’t down any cannonballs, but Chloe’s visible uneasiness is amusing.

When Madame President informs Jack of her decision to cover up the Russian’s involvement, he is shocked and mortified. He says he wants justice, but she counters by saying she wants peace. Jack reminds her that the Russians can’t be trusted. He should save his breath. This is the woman who put her eggs in Logan’s basket.

She orders Jack back to McGuire Air Force base for debriefing. I wondered if that is named after slugger Mark McGuire, and if so, what would happen if Jack Bauer got a hold of some of those steroids. Dear God.

But Jack doesn’t need steroids. He’s got three things on his side… justice, love and wrath. Oh, and he also got the Jack Sack back and his Starsky & Hutch peanut butter brown leather jacket. So he has that going for him too. Which is nice.

So as Jack is lead out, he snags a gun from his guard and hijacks the helicopter. Chloe races outside and orders the agents to hold their fire. Then she radios Jack and tells him to land immediately. When he feeds her static, she gives the order to have the air force engage and force Jack to land.

Fasten your seatbelts, like Sarah Palin in a fly leather jacket, Jack Bauer has gone rouge.

Next week, it all hits the fan… or rather the chopper blades, as Jack has a dog fight over Manhattan and continues to pursue Renee’s killer. And we head into the final six hours of the day.

See you next week.

Oh yeah… I saw Kick Ass tonight as well. I will post a review later this week. But I will tell you right now, expect to see a ton of Kick Ass and Hit Girl costumes this Halloween.

What did you think? Post a comment below or drop me a line at jack@backinjack.com.

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