It’s 5pm in London. They call it 5 Bells over there. They also call French fries chips. I’ll never truly understand that exotic land. But I digress…
|Mama's got a brand new bag.|
Chloe picks up the Simone story partially from tracking the phone number Jack gave her and partially from watching the news… because on a day that there was a riot at the US Embassy, with shots fired and people injured, a bus hitting a pedestrian would certainly dominate the 5 O’clock news.
Margot calls Simone’s cell to see how she’s doing on her murder errand, but the ambulance guy answers her phone and Margot learns what happened and which hospital her daughter is being taken too. So while Jack and Sexy Agent Morgan head for the hospital, so does one of Margot’s drones. But she also sends her goon Kareem in to get some intel. You see hospitals are the easiest places in the world to sneak into. You just slip into the locker room, throw on some scrubs and you can go wherever you want. Not only does Kareem do that, but he also happens to pass Sexy Agent Morgan in the hall just as she’s relaying all of the detail of her conversation with ‘Lil Jasmine. Its amazing timing; Kareem was really hustling. But my dad says he really doesn't try... except during the playoffs.
Meanwhile, Jack convinces a doctor to revive Simone and let him interrogate her before they send her in for a CAT scan. Although it is totally against the Hippocratic Oath, Jack says please, so the doctor agrees. You see, when dealing with Jack Bauer, the oath goes more like, “First, do no harm… unless Jack needs information. In that case, do as much harm as you want.”
To Jack’s credit, at first he does no harm to Simone. He appeals to her as a concerned aunt who tried to save her niece and sister in-law. When that doesn’t work, Jack moves onto doing harm. He grabs Simone’s pinky stub, but instead of talking, Simone passes out from the pain. He’s actually lucky she did not have her full digit, because we all know what happens when you pull someone’s finger.
Agent Morgan is not happy with Jack’s torture tactics, and since she’s so sexy, Jack apologizes. Then Jack spots a suspicious looking orderly and tells Kareem to freeze. Kareem shoots at them and takes off. They chase him, hoping he can lead them to Margot. Unfortunately, Kareem is gunned down by some hospital cops, so they are back to square one… or ground zero. When Jack checks Kareem’s phone, he realizes they have eight minutes until a drone strikes the building.
Sexy Morgan gets ‘Lil Jasmine out while Jack helps Simone, who refuses to believe her mom would betray her… again. So Jack drops her like a Jack Sack of potatoes and tells her she’s free to stay in the hospital and find out. Simone wisely changes her mind and Jack gets her out just as Margot’s son targets the building and blows it up. Not bad for someone who did not know how to fly a drone three hours ago.
Then Margot and her son spot Jack amongst the chaos and smoke, with the drone camera, and they shoot at the car he, Simone and Sexy Agent Morgan are in. Jack pulls out of his parking space just in time to dodge the missile and a full-scale drone/car chase in on in the streets of London. It’s fast and furious. Margot’s son shoots and misses again, but does take out a building with his next shot. He’s got one missile left when Jack drives under a bridge. This is when the magic happens. Not only do they pull a switch-a-roo and swap cars with another driver, but Jack absolutely demolishes a guy with a right hook in order to get his car. (First do no harm… ah, the hell with it.) Jack also does the old “brick on the gas pedal trick” to send their old car out, which tricks Margot’s son, who blows it up with his last shot.
It’s the biggest hand off since The Fresh Prince gave Carlton his Chicktionary. (See below.)
Meanwhile, back at the CIA, Dr. Claw calls Navarro and tells him that Jordan is onto him. Then we find out that Dr. Claw is actually Adrian Cross. (C’mon, you knew he had to be a bigger bad guy than we had seen so far.)
Cross tells Navarro to send Jordan out in the field and he’ll take care of him. So Navarro sends Jordan out on a fake errand. Jordan accepts the assignment hand heads to a boat in some small channel. Admiral Ackbar screams, “It’s a trap!” but it’s too late. Jordan is shot and falls into the water. But when the assassin looks for his body to do a double tap, he can’t find him. That’s because Jordan escapes by tossing himself into the sewage currents and escapes like Commissioner Gordon evading Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. (Although Jordan really got the idea from the Jean Valjean’s sewer scene in Les Misérables.)
Finally, before Jack gets to Heller, we find a melancholy and reflective President. The secret of his medical condition is beginning to leak and he announces that he’ll step down after the crisis. But after the carnage at the hospital, Heller seems to have another plan. He Skypes Margot and agrees to turn himself over to her if she promises to call off the drones. She agrees and even says she’ll pinky swear on it. Just ask her daughter Simone. They do it all the time.
So Heller leaves some stuff for Jack and sneaks out. In the previews for next week we learn that the rendezvous point is Wembley Stadium. That’s where the London half of Live Aid took place. Hopefully Phil Collins will show up in time to save him. And play with the Led Zeppelin reunion.
|Find Goth Chloe.|
Next week: Simone can’t wake up, Jordan is all wet and Heller is in Margot’s sights.
We close with another round of FIND GOTH CHLOE? Can you spot her? Good luck.
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