Tuesday, January 20, 2009

24- Season 7: 12 pm – Dirty Deeds

12 pm
After a two-night season premiere with back to back episodes each night, tonight’s one hour 24 seemed to fly by. First of all, to answer a question I have gotten a few times, the place you may remember Boss Larry Moss from is the TV show Dirt. And that was the theme running throughout tonight’s episode… dirt.

Jack & Tony are getting their hands dirty in order to get close to the CIP device. We pick up with them still undercover with Emerson’s crew, trying to kidnap Motobo, the disposed Prime Minster of Sangala. Motobo is holed up in a safe room with his wife. Emerson uses a videophone to let Motobo know that if he does not come out, one of his bodyguards will die. Tony and Jack can’t stop him without blowing their cover, but a call from the FBI saves the poor sap. With the FBI on the way, they suddenly have a deadline, and so Jack suggests they use everyday cleaning products to do their dirty work, and they gas the safe room with a concoction of Bleach, Scrubby Bubbles, Head & Shoulders and some Axe Body Spray. I guess it’s not that safe of a room. Motobo is willing to die for his country, but his wife isn’t, and she opens the door just in time.

The bad guys whisk them off, but not before the goon who looks like he’s in Maroon 5 catches Agent Lohan, I mean Walker, sneaking around the grounds. He just “Won’t Go Home Without Her,” so they throw her in the truck too. (More on her in a bit.)

We also got some dirt on the gang at the FBI tonight. We found out that there is a lot more going on at the FBI besides investigations. There’s more drama there than at a junior high school dance. First let’s talk about Sean Hillenger, the FBI guy who fixed it so that his wife’s plane would land ahead of all the others in holding patterns around the country. His wife calls him from the baggage area and asks him if he had anything to do with her landing situation. He denies it, and he also denies her offer for some nookie. You see, she’s not the only one with baggage. Sean’s a bit of a dirty bird. We learn the he had some kind of encounter with a hot, blonde coworker the night before.

Want more FBI dirt? No problem. Let’s talk about Renee Walker, who is called back to HQ by Boss Moss as she was heading for the scene. There are lawyers looking for her because of the methods she used to get the information out of Tanner last week. She continues to emulate Jack and ignores the order. She’s all about the ends justifying the means, if you know what I means. After Boss Moss learns that Renee has been captured, Janice Garofalo notices that Boss Moss has a little thing for Renee. This perception is alarming to Sean, who does not want to get busted for his own secret side dish.

Meanwhile, the First Hubby takes up an offer from Brian, his secret service dude, to go see a friend that can decode the evidence he has obtained. He must have one of those Little Orphan Annie Decoder Rings. But it turns out Brian is evil and the First Hubby is rendered paralyzed by a Venti, half-caff French Roast with shot of vanilla and poison. Now Brian and another bad agent are going to kill both him and his son’s girlfriend and make it look like a murder/suicide.

Back in the truck, Emerson decides that Renee has outlived her usefulness and orders Jack to kill her. After the all the bitching and verbal lashing she has been giving him throughout the entire ride, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Jack had actually done it. He marches her through a remote construction site just outside Metro DC that looks amazingly like the hills of Southern California. Then he whispers to her “Just trust me and I’ll get you through this alive. Now, get on your knees.”

Fella’s take note, that’s a winning pick-up line if I’ve ever heard one.

Then he shoots her in the head. Or at least that’s what it looks like, but he really just grazes her and she plays dead. As far as Emerson knows, she’s now a dead bitch in a ditch wrapped in plastic. But then Emerson orders them to bury her, so no one discovers her too soon. So Tony and Jack cover her in what else? Yep, dirt.

See you next week.

(Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at jack@backinjack.com or post a comment below.)

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