Between every hero and a Merry Christmas, there
always stands a villain who wants to ruin the holiday. These are some of the
most memorable, and sometimes most beloved, characters of the season. To honor
this rogues gallery, I’ve put together my list of the greatest villains in the
history of Christmas Specials. I bet a few of my selections will surprise you.
Check out my picks and let me know what you think. Then let me know who's on your list. And don't forget to check out the Monster Men show about this topic too. (Click here.)
Check out my picks and let me know what you think. Then let me know who's on your list. And don't forget to check out the Monster Men show about this topic too. (Click here.)
10. Silas
Barnaby: March of the Wooden Soldiers:
I know, you probably don’t think of Barnaby as a Christmas
character, so let me explain. March of
the Wooden Soldiers is a Thanksgiving tradition, and since that day signals
the beginning of the Christmas season, I think Mr. Barnaby qualifies for the
list. Plus, Santa makes an appearance in the film, so I rest my case.
Barnaby holds the mortgage on the shoe that Mother Peep
lives in. Mother Peep can’t pay and Barnaby threatens to throw her out on the
street unless resident hottie, Bo Peep, agrees to marry him. Eventually the
situation escalates into an all out war and Barnaby leads hoards of ravenous
Bogeymen in an all out assault on Toyland. Only Stannie Dum, Ollie Dee, a box
of darts, a weird mouse/monkey and 100 six-foot wooden soldiers stand between
Barnaby and the extermination of Toyland. With his top hat, hunched posture and
maniacal laugh, he is truly the epitome of evil.
9. Scut Farkus and Grover Dill: A Christmas Story:
Poor Ralphie. If not getting a BB gun or getting gypped by
Little Orphan Annie weren’t enough, he also has to worry about the constant
bullying of local terror, Scut Farkus and his sidekick, Grover. Scut is a lanky, hideous
creature that seems to be a part bully and part troll.
Is there any better moment than when Ralphie finally loses
it and Hulks out on this sadistic monster? Watch out Scut, he’ll punch your eye
out.
8. The Winter Warlock: Santa Claus is Coming to Town:
I originally had Winter, as he likes to be called, ranked
higher, because he is pretty horrifying when he first appears in Santa Claus is Coming to Town. However,
he has a change of heart pretty early in the movie and becomes a key player in
Kris Kringle’s cause. He’s even responsible for many of Santa’s greatest
assets, like flying reindeer. Many villains on this list eventually find
redemption at the end of the story, but Winter finds his early enough to be
considered a hero too.
All it took to save a soul was a choo-choo train and the courage
to put one foot in front of the other.
7. Burgermeister Meisterburger: Santa Claus is Coming to Town:
7. Burgermeister Meisterburger: Santa Claus is Coming to Town:
This is the real villain of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. This guy may not be the most
charismatic of Christmas antagonists, but boy is he bad. This guy rules a town
called Sombertown. That should be your first clue as to the character of this
guy.
The Burgermeister is so vile that he not only outlaws toys,
but he imprisons Kris Kringle! One of the great things about the fall of
Burgermeister Meisterburger is that he is not defeated in the traditional sense
of a final battle, but really just sort of fades away and becomes irrelevant. A
sad end to a sad man.
6. Professor Hinkle: Frosty the Snowman:
6. Professor Hinkle: Frosty the Snowman:
Professor Hinkle is the inept magician that lusts for the
life-giving power of Frosty the Snowman’s magic hat. He’s also a homicidal
maniac.
Now to his credit, the hat originally belonged to Hinkle,
who tossed it towards a trashcan after yet another failed magic trick. His one
time assistant, the rabbit Hocus Pocus, essentially intercepts the hat and
takes it to the school children that have just built Frosty. When Hinkle sees
the miracle that the hat has performed, he naturally wants his hat back. After
all, the frustrated fellow is trying to make a living by doing magic and
failing miserably. It would only be natural to want your hat back. The question
is, did he technically surrender ownership of the hat or did the children steal
it? They say possession is 9/10 of the law, but it is defienetly a gray area.
What makes Hinkle so bad, aside from his slightly green hue,
is his greed. He wants his hat back so bad that he has no regard for the life
he would be ending. Then later he essentially murders Frosty by locking him in
a greenhouse and melting him.
If not for the intervention of Santa, Frosty would not have
been resurrected and Hinkle would have won. When threatened with the
possibility of never getting another Christmas present, Hinkle finally agrees
to an act of penance to redeem him. He must write a promise to never hurt the
snowman again… a hundred zillion times! As Hinkle might say, he’ll be “Busy, busy, busy!”
Notice his motivation for his repentance is motivated by the
prospect of getting gifts, not to show respect for life. He’s a narcissist,
sociopath and practitioner of the dark arts. This guy is bad news.
5. Commercialism: A Charlie Brown Christmas:
Some would say the Peanuts Christmas special features the
TRUE villain of Christmas the real world, commercialism. Poor Charlie Brown,
he’s surrounded by greed and materialism at every turn, most evident from the
aluminum trees that everyone prefers to his simple sapling.
He gets it from the kids in the Christmas pageant, his
sister and even from his dog, who is pimping out his doghouse for a decoration
contest. Good grief!
Think about it… so many of the other Christmas specials put
an emphasis on saving Christmas for the sake of gifts and presents. Sure, they
may allude to the “Christmas Spirit”, but the seldom actually make a reference
to the birth of Christ. Not Charlie Brown though, thanks to his buddy Linus.
Just as things start to really get out of control and old Chuck is about to hit
his breaking point, the young, blanket wielding sage steps up and makes a passionate speech from the Gospel of Luke on
what Christmas is really all about.
Before you know it, the rest of the gang embraces the real
reason for the season and they decorate Charlie Brown’s tiny, little tree with the
bling from Snoopy’s award winning doghouse. Let the caroling begin.
4. The Miser Brothers, Heat Miser and Snow Miser: The Year Without a Santa Claus:
Everyone knows that Heat
Miser is my favorite. He goes hand-in-hand with his brother Snowy when it comes
to great Christmas villains, but Heat Miser is really the scarier of the two.
He’s much more satanic looking and he’s got a very hot temper.
The Miser Brothers not only sing the best songs to ever
appear in a Christmas special, but they also save The Year Without a Santa Claus, which kind of drags when they are
not on screen. It's true... they are too much.
3. The Bumble: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer:
The Abominable Snow Monster of the North, also known as The
Bumble, is a large, yeti-like creature that terrorizes the North Pole and hates
everything about Christmas. He pursues Rudolph and Hermey at every step of
their journey and eventually captures Rudolph’s family with the intent to eat
them. Is that bad enough for you? To a little kid, he is one of the truly scary
monsters of the Christmas genre.
Fortunately, Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the Elf come to the
rescue. They knock the Bumble out and extract all his teeth. Then Yukon, in an
incredible act of bravery tumbles off a cliff with the beast, sacrificing
himself for the group. Luckily, at the end of the show, he reappears with a
reformed Bumble, who puts the star on top of the Christmas tree. You see, it
turns out that Bumbles bounce.
2. The Grinch: How The Grinch Stole Christmas:
The
mean one himself. The Christmas hating green monster with a heart is two sizes
too small. The Grinch doesn’t just want to ruin Christmas, he wants to steal
the whole thing! You have to give
him props for his ambition. This guy has the audacity to sneak into Whoville,
dressed as Santa, and rip-off all of the Whos' Christmas gifts and decorations.
He lies to a child and is very cruel to his dog too.
The Grinch cartoon is voiced by Frankenstein’s monster
(Boris Karloff) and the live-action film is narrated by Hannibal Lecter
(Anthony Hopkins). It doesn’t get
any more badass than that.
The three best words that best describe him are as follows,
and I quote,
“Stink!”
“Stank!”
“Stunk!”
“Stink!”
“Stank!”
“Stunk!”
The Grinch could easily hold the number one spot on this
list, but the big green lug was evil to begin with and eventually sees the
error of his ways. There is one more person on this list, and this one should
have known better.
1. Santa Claus: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer:
The other villains on this list consist of a variety of scum
and lowlifes whose deeds have become the stuff of legends. However, if you
think about it, Santa is a big part of the reason Rudolph leaves home in the
first place. He’s just as guilty as the rest of the North Pole folk who
ostracize the poor, young, crimson-nosed buck. (That includes Fireball, Coach
Comet, the Elf Boss and even his parents, Donner and Mrs. Donner.)
When all of the other reindeer are laughing and calling
Rudolph names, instead of sticking up for him, Santa chastises Donner and walks
away in disappointment. Then, after everyone has disappeared, he’s not even out
looking for them. This is a guy who knows when you are sleeping or when you are
awake. You’d think he would be pretty good at locating people.
It’s not until he needs Rudolph that he’s actually nice to
him… and that might be because he’s too cheap to buy headlights for his sleigh.
Watch the show again and keep an eye on Santa this time, I’m
telling you, he’s kind of a jerk. I mean, c’mon, this is Santa Claus, so the
bar is set higher. We expect more from him. Take a look at your naughty list
Santa, under the name Kringle. You
might be surprised at what you see.
Giving Scrooge His Due:
I know, I know. You don’t see Scrooge on this list. Relax. I am giving him props here. After all, he is the poster child for hating Christmas and he did coin the term “Bah humbug”, the catch phrase for the anti-Christmas movement. But he’s too obvious and I am a bit tired of the endless incarnations of A Christmas Carol. However, I’ll give Mr. Magoo honorable mention, along with Bill Murray in Scrooged, as those are my favorite versions of the story.
I know, I know. You don’t see Scrooge on this list. Relax. I am giving him props here. After all, he is the poster child for hating Christmas and he did coin the term “Bah humbug”, the catch phrase for the anti-Christmas movement. But he’s too obvious and I am a bit tired of the endless incarnations of A Christmas Carol. However, I’ll give Mr. Magoo honorable mention, along with Bill Murray in Scrooged, as those are my favorite versions of the story.
Another Honorable Mention
Skeletor in He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special:
This is the boney bad man’s his most conflicted moment… and
one of his funniest.
Click here: Skeletor Christmas
1 comment:
Good blog poost
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