This evening they showed two episodes, probably because the first episode was really a set-up for the second hour. Or maybe it was to save energy. After all, Keifer did come on tonight and make a PSA about how 24 is helping fight Global Warming. And much like the atmosphere, things are heating up on 24.
It was all about the attack on the White House tonight. The news showed the US easily invading Sangala, but don’t be fooled. The Juma regime is a much more formidable foe than almost any other enemy this nation has ever faced. I mean, was Hitler able to build an all-powerful C.I.P. device? No. Did the Ayatollah Khomeini ever breach and occupy the White House? No. But General Benjamin Juma was able to do both in one day. That’s pretty impressive.
In tonight’s first episode we bid farewell to our old pal Dubaku, who is killed by an orderly in the hospital. It would be a major recurring theme throughout the night. The security in the hospital is so poor that an orderly can murder a major political prisoner right under everyone’s noses. Later we’d see the most secure building in the country breached as well.
Meanwhile, I tried to get into Costo last week without a card and I was stopped dead in my tracks. And I even tried sneaking in the back way through the exit. No luck. I’ve got to learn some of General Juma’s tricks.
Agent Lohan figures out that Dubaku did not die of natural causes and follows the orderly to a remote location where she discovers the staging area for the attack. She also spots General Juma and Dubaku’s son… who I like to call Li’l Dubaku, or Li’l D. She calls Boss Moss and lets him know the scoop before following the bad guys to the docks where they board a boat and head down the Potomac River. Agent Lohan leaps from the dock and catches the edge of the boat. She loses her gun and phone, but she is lucky that she doesn't get torn up by the boat’s engines, like that horse that jumps off the boat in The Ring. Once she’s aboard she spies Juma and the boys planning an attack. Then, after they scuba dive off to target, she grabs their plans. It seems to be a giant coloring book and Renee quickly realizes the objective is the White House. The humongous picture of the White House might have been her first clue. Li’l D spots her and she leaps off the boat, but Li’l D gives chase in a speed boat.
Meanwhile, Tony drops Jack off at the White House so Jack can go interrogate Ryan Burnett, who is the corrupt aide to the Senator from That 70’s Show. Jack has Chloe delete Ryan’s name from Dubaku’s list so they can get the info before he can lawyer-up, but Janice figures out that Chloe has been up to some shenanigans. (But not before she and Chloe exchange many suspicious glances.) Jack subdues Bill, in order to protect him from blame, and heads off in search of Ryan. Boss Moss alerts the President, just as she is trying to convince That-Seventies-Senator to drop the charges on Jack. Madam President pages Jack, but he pulls a “Han Solo” on the phone and zaps it with a taser. (“Boring conversation anyway.”) Jack gets a little quality time with Ryan and the taser gun, but the guards bust in on Jack faster than you can say “Don’t tase me, Bro.” So he does not get the location. Instead, he ends up under arrest.
Meanwhile, Juma and his boys swim underneath the White House and begin drilling their way onto the grounds.
Li’l D chases Agent Lohan and we get to admire her running… much like Chandler on Friends would admire Yasmine Bleeth running on Baywatch. (Run Renee, Run!) But Li’l D catches up with her and overpowers her, even though she clocks him with a shovel. Li’l D does not believe her when she tells him that Big D is dead and that Juma has betrayed him, but Boss Moss puts him down before he can kill Agent Lohan. They then warn the White House of the attack. It’s one of the best “I told ya so” moments in Jack Bauer’s life.
Juma manages to get past the laser defenses on the perimeter of the White House grounds because he has an inside man. (That’s what I needed at Costco.) A janitor, who seems to also be from Sangala, turns off the defenses and Juma is in.
First 24 makes a case for why torture is sometimes is an acceptable tactic in war-like conditions, and now it makes a strong case for racial profiling. I bet Hannity loves this show… and I bet Combs changed the channel to the Oxygen Network long ago.
It’s like what Jack said to That-Seventies-Senator when he was called reprehensible. He simply replied, “And you’re weak.”
Anyway, by 11 minutes into the second hour, Juma has gotten into the White House. He and his men make their way through the building, killing Secret Service Agents left and right. Jack and Bill scramble to get Madam President to safety. Bill realizes they are being tracked, so he takes the Prez’s tracking bracelet in order to lead Juma astray. He buys Jack enough time to get Madam President into the lock down room just before Juma gets to them.
So Juma gathers all of his hostages in the hallway outside the lockdown room. One of Juma’s men has a device that can pick the electronic lock, but Jack pulls a MacGyver and disables the lock with a reading lamp wire.
Back outside, we finally meet the Vice President, who will not authorize a rescue operation, despite Boss Moss and Agent Lohan’s pleas. They suspect Juma is bluffing, and they are right. But Juma calls his old buddy Jon Voight to get advice. Voight is busy watching TV and eating dinner. I can relate to this guy. He’s also hanging out with Speed from CSI: Miami, which is cool. We haven’t seen Speed since he was killed back in like season three of CSI. After they advise Juma to look for the President’s daughter, they play some darts. You gotta love these guys.
Meanwhile Aaron tries to get our girl Olivia out, but he is shot in the arm and she is captured and taken to Juma. But not before we learn a little about Morse Code from Aaron. Where you paying attention? Try and figure out what this says. (.. .-..---...-. -.-----..-)
Juma threatens to dice up Olivia on camera, so Madam President orders Jack to open up the door. Jack protests but eventually obeys and now Juma has the President. She tells him to let the others go. He responds by smacking her. The General means business, and his business is mean business.
Okay, so that’s a lot of reading for one day. I’m sure you have had enough. See you all next week.
In the meantime, I’m going to see if I can figure out a way to scuba dive under Costco.