24- Season 7: 3 pm – Love Hurts

3 pm

When I turned on Fox tonight I was taken aback for a moment as I thought I saw David Palmer addressing the nation. I immediately thought an old episode of 24 was on. Then I realized that it was actually President Obama holding a press conference. For a few moments I was worried that 24 might be delayed, preempted or worst of all, joined late, already in progress. Later on in the show, one of David Palmer’s insurance commercials came on and, for a moment, I was worried that Obama was coming back out for an encore.

But 24 started on time, and before you knew it, the J-Team was in the Oval Office. The President is naturally skeptical of our ragtag heroes until Jack Bauer flaunts his qualifications and loyalties like a peacock’s tail feathers. When President Taylor questions his loyalties, Jack tells her to just ask around. C’mon lady, this is Jack Freaking Bauer we’re talking about here.

They convince the Prez that they are too legit to quit and she eventually puts them on the case. And not a moment too soon, because she finds out that Dubaku has captured her husband. They have to find Dubaku’s hideout FAST. Agent Lohan, who gets sexier with every episode, convinces Jack that they should enlist the help of her boy-toy, Boss Moss. When Boss Moss answers his phone and hears Renee’s voice, this is what happens: Boss Moss Song. (Click “Back” when you are done.)

The writers must have had Valentine’s Day on their minds, because there were all kinds of romantic entanglements and drama this week.

Boss Moss refuses to help until he can see the object of his affection in person. With the records Boss Moss provides they determine that Secret Service Agent Vossler is evil and they start to track him. Jack tells Agent Lohan to go to Vossler’s house and threaten the wife and baby. Boss Moss unsuccessfully objects. I wonder, is Boss Moss really that appalled by Jack’s brutal tactics, or is he just really jealous and threatened by this Alpha Male who is trouncing all over his territory?

Agent Lohan’s journey to the dark side is made complete when she handcuffs Vossler’s wife to a coffee table and threatens their baby. Meanwhile, Jack speeds through DC to intercept Vossler before he can safely reach a military base. Just as Vossler approaches the gate, Jack blows down a one way street and plows into Vossler’s car. When Vossler hears his family being threatened, he spills the beans. Nevertheless, when Jack is distracted, he pulls a knife and attacks. But Vossler is messing with the wrong guy. Could that someone be Jack the Knife? Yes, and Jack dispatches of Vossler.

Meanwhile, back at the FBI, Sean is suspicious of everything. I also realized that his mistress in the office looks suspiciously like Angela Martin from The Office.

Speaking of girlfriends, tonight we also learn that Dubaku’s little chickadee has a wheelchair-bound sister who is suspicious of him. After she threatens to expose him he heads to her apartment to take care of the problem. (And probably to score a plate of that tasty lasagna while he’s there.)

Back at the White House, the ever-dapper Bill Buchanan takes time away from his next Men’s Wear House commercial to coordinate a decoy drop off of a Matobo look alike to Dubaku in order to buy them some time. The decoy is also a Tim Meadows look alike, and was probably wishing he was doing stunt work on The Ladies Man 2 today instead of this, because he ends up blown to bits by Dubaku’s men.

When Jack goes back to find that his truck is totaled and being looted, he realizes he needs a new set of wheels. So what does he do? Why he Car-Jacks someone, of course. Finally Jack and his pretty red-headed apprentice arrive that the store where the First Hubby is being held. And they get there just as Dubaku gives the order to kill Henry Taylor.

A gun fight ensues and Jack and Lohan take out all the bad guys, but not before one puts a slug right into the First Hubby. Boy, has this guy had a bad day. First he’s drugged and paralyzed by his Secret Service driver and forced to watch the murder of his son’s girlfriend. Then he narrowly escapes death by tossing himself and his attacker off of a loft. Then he is captured and his finger is cut off. Finally, he is shot, just moments before his rescue.

Man, he should have stayed in bed today.

Next week we find out who the mole is in the FBI office. Sean, Janice, Boss Moss, Angela Martin… Dwight? Who could it be?

One last thing… please scroll down and check out the entry about the CambridgeSide Galleria Mall. They are doing a Facebook promotion that is raising money for charity. You don’t have to live in Massachusetts to help out. Just become a fan on their FB page.

Thanks.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at jack@backinjack.com or post a comment below.