Monday, March 30, 2009

The Bauer in the Plastic Bubble

11 pm

First, a word from our sponsors: Tonight’s episode of 24 is brought to you by your friends at Cisco and WebEx.

In seasons past we have often seen Jack Bauer carry a satchel containing weapons and other equipment slung over his shoulder. I affectionately call this the Jack Sack. Tonight we almost catch a glimpse of the other Jack Sack… the one that Agent Bauer always carries with him. It’s the source of his testicular fortitude and also where he keeps those brass balls of his. We pick up with the CDC arriving at the scene in Bio-Hazard suits. They strip down Jack to his birthday suit, revealing the heavily scarred torso of a real American hero. The doctors gasp in horror… and then they loofah Jack’s nether regions.

Jack becomes a Bubble Boy while he his transported, in quarantine, back to FBI headquarters. His little plastic enclosure in the CDC van looks like something they would cart Dr. Lecter around in. I wonder if Hannibal Bauer would eat Jonas Hodges’ liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Meanwhile, Agent Lohan learns of Jack’s exposure to the bio-agent. Like that poor old American Indian that cried about pollution, she sheds a single tear. I wondered if she was sad about Jack being sick or was she just upset that she missed seeing him naked?

When Jack gets back, we find out that although he is not contagious, he has been infected. He’s now Patient Zero. He could start to exhibit symptoms at any moment. And there is no cure.

And Agent Lohan has a bad case of lovin’ Jack. Especially after she heard that he saved the night watchmen at the shipyard. I guess that brass-balled son of a bitch has a heart after all. It’s just hidden under all that scar tissue.

I bet she’d be willing to risk infection, if you know what I mean.

Back at the White House, the silliest thing to happen all season occurs. While Madam President and Olivia discuss candidates to replace Ethan as Chief of Staff, the Prez appoints her own daughter to the rank of Acting Chief of Staff.

Oh, come on now.

Then Madam President gets the news that Jack was framed and that Starkwood has a WMD. So she assembles the cabinet, who basically tell her that taking on Starkwood is like taking on a small army. Oh, and also the law won’t allow a military strike on U.S. soil, so the clowns at the FBI will have to do.

Meanwhile, Tony is brought to Starkwood, where Jonas Hodges starts to question him. Hodges knows Tony will be a tough nut to crack, and he is ready to kill him if he won’t talk. Unfortunately, Hodges lackey Greg (Speed from CSI.) interrupts Hodges and suggests they abort the mission before they get caught. Hodges dismisses him. Later, Greg shoots the guard that is about to kill Tony. The guard was a Washington Redskins fan and was going to get tickets from Hodges if Tony didn’t talk. I’m assuming maybe Greg is a Giants or Cowboys fan… or maybe the Dolphins. After all, he was on CSI: Miami.

Greg says Hodges is nuts and must be stopped. He will help Tony as long as he gets immunity. Tony and him go back to his office and they call the Prez on a secure line. They agree to the deal, and are able to work it all out by using WebEx and a virtual signature, thanks to your friends at Cisco.

Speaking of immunity, something he wishes he had when he was handling the bio-hazard canisters, Jack asks Boss Moss if he can join the raid. Boss Moss appreciates the offer, but he can’t have Jack suddenly seizing up on him with his soon to manifest, deadly and debilitating disease. Jack knows that Boss Moss is right.

So the FBI coordinates with Tony, who has been lead to the appropriate bunker by Greg. The FBI informs Starkwood that they are landing by order of the President. They storm the building, but it is empty! Greg misled them in order to buy Hodges more time. They have to hold Tony back from Greg. Boss Moss is about to fan out his men to search the grounds when they are suddenly surrounded by heavily armed troops in heavily armed vehicles. The trap has been sprung.

Tony and the Starkwood commander both tell each other to stand down, but Starkwood has the upper hand. It’s starting to look like that scene in the shower room from the movie The Rock. And that did not end well for the good guys. (Note: Look for Tony Todd, 24’s own General Juma, in this scene.)

It does not look good for Tony and Boss Moss. Jack and Agent Lohan watch helplessly from back at HQ, thanks to your friends at Cisco.

Next week, Starkwood strikes back, Olivia is forced to get jiggy with the reporter, WebEx stock goes up three points and Jack just might die.

See you then.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at or post a comment below.

You Know You Are Procrastinating When...

So I was going through some old boxes and I stumbled across a book I started reading probably in 1986 or so.

I never got around to finishing it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

24- Season 7: 10 pm – Down with the Sickness

10 pm

Tonight we pick up at the home of the recently departed That Seventies Senator, where Boss Moss and his crew survey the crime scene. It looks like Jack has killed his nemesis, but Boss Moss has watched too much CSI to be that easily misled. The bullets are from a weapon that Jack could not have had access to in such a short time. And it appears that someone fled the scene through the back door in a hail of bullets. He calls Agent Lohan, who follows typical 24 protocol and refuses to give up any information... until asked twice. She confirms that Jack is pursuing the Starkwood Company, the firm behind all of the Juma regime’s antics, and that Quinn was trying to frame and kill Jack.

Meanwhile, Ethan, the Chief of Staff, resigns his post in order to protect Madam’s President’s administration because of his role in Bauer’s escape and alleged murders of Burnett and the Senator. Ethan and Olivia chat as he packs up his desk. He apologizes for accusing her of leaking the story to the press but warns her that unchecked ambition is a dangerous thing. But what’s more dangerous is an ambitious woman with good looks, unlimited access to the President and the affections of a prominent news reporter. Olivia has all three, and we learn she did in fact leak the story to the press. And even worse, she led the reporter on with the promise of a date, which will never happen. So not only has she undermined her mother’s administration and backstabbed the Chief of Staff, but she’s also a tease.

Olivia doesn’t keep her promises. This girl was born to be in politics.

Oh, we also see that the First Hubby is alive and is expected to make a full recovery, even though it has not even been 24 hours since he was drugged, dropped from a balcony and shot in the chest. This freaking guy is recovering faster than you or I would from having our wisdom teeth out.

Anyway, Jack and Tony meet up and head for the Port of Alexandria where the Starkwood guys are going to be picking up their biological weapon. Tony brings their black X-Men costumes and they suit up for action. When they get there they find Karl, the night watchman who happens to have a wife at home, pregnant with twins. Naturally, J & T subdue him and tie him up. Finally, Karl reveals that the bad guys are on their way there to pick up a container. He had agreed to let them in because he thought they were smuggling electronics or something. He had no idea they were terrorists and he needed the money.

Now, a few of you give me grief for my frequent Star Trek references over the years, but in this case I am totally justified because Karl is played by the guy who played Trip in the latest UPN series Star Trek: Enterprise. So when he agrees to play along and let the bad guys onto the grounds, we know he’s toast… just like the many other Star Trek “red shirts” we've seen on this show. Especially when Jack promises him that he’s got his back. Tony confirms it as soon as Karl heads out to open the gate. As a matter of fact, he was dead the moment he agreed to cooperate with Starkwood. Karl leads the bad guys to the container with the bio-weapon and one of the goons takes him to a deserted spot, claiming to pay him, but we know he’s going to get wacked. Jack wants to save him but Tony warns that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and that it’s more important to track the bio-weapon than to save the Maytag Repairman. But at the last second, Jack picks off Karl’s would-be assassin and a fire fight breaks out. The bad guys manage to load the container onto a flatbed and the trucks heads for the exit. Jack gives chase while poor Tony gets stuck covering him. Through it all, Karl lives. We should have known… he was a main character on a Star Trek show, not a nameless lackey. That must have been what saved him. That… and Jack’s phaser set to “kill”, that is. You see, unlike Olivia, Jack keeps his promises.

Indiana Bauer jumps onto the truck and manages to commandeer it. Meanwhile, Tony is surrounded and captured by the Starkwood boys. Jacks sense of honor may have saved Karl, but it just might get Tony killed. It’s about now that Tony wishes Scotty could beam him the hell out of there. Jack picked a heck of a time to go soft, he thinks to himself.

A little too late, Jack calls Boss Moss and tells him to send a team to the port to back up Tony and to send another team to meet up with him. Unfortunately, Jack notices a leak in the container and has to go in and close the valve. If you have ever dropped anything in a toilet bowl, you have some idea of what Jack felt as he reached for that knob to stop the leak. He tries to do it as quick as he can, but he knows he’s going to get some yuckiness on his hand no matter what.

Then the bad guys pull up with a truck and a chopper and open fire on Jack, who scoots into the woods. They keep him pinned down while they take back the bio-weapon. Jack calls Boss Moss and tells him to send his guys to the nearest Starwood facility. He also mentions that he has been exposed to the bio-agent.

Maybe Tony had a point when he said they should sacrifice Karl so they could just follow the truck to its final destination.

Next week, Jon Voight prepares for battle and will probably be very mean to Tony. And we may get a glimpse of “Little Jack” next week, because the CDC is going to strip down Agent Bauer to his birthday suit in order to decontaminate him. Unless this show, filmed in real-time, is just being a clock-tease... kind of like Olivia.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at or post a comment below.

Monday, March 16, 2009

24- Season 7: 9 pm – Why So Serious? Can’t You Handle the Truth?

9 pm

Did you see The Dark Knight? Remember the ending? (Spoiler alert!)

Batman takes the blame for the murders that Harvey Dent committed in order to preserve all the good that would be undone if Dent’s deeds were exposed. So now Batman is a fugitive. Commissioner Gordon explains to his son why Batman is allowing himself to be wrongly accused as the Caped Crusader speeds off into the night.

Of Batman he says, "Because he's the hero that Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now... and so we'll hunt him... because he can take it... because he's not a hero... he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a Dark Knight."

Well, there’s another Dark Knight, but he’s not in Gotham City, he’s in DC. And he wears a blazer instead of a cape. His name is Jack Bauer, and while others might be concerned about clearing their names, Jack is focusing on heading off the next impending threat against his country.

Let’s rundown tonight’s happenings, shall we? First of all, Agent “Lohan” Walker was looking like Lindsay Lohan more than ever tonight. And not the drunk, waif, coked-up looking Lohan. I mean vintage, “Mean Girls”, “I Know Who Killed Me” Lindsay Lohan. I really noticed just how good she looked when she was standing next to Janice… but then again, most anyone looks good compared to Janice. Hell, Morris started to grow on me by the end of his scenes with her.

Jack has a recording from the hospital and he sends a picture of Burnett’s real killer to Renee. Renee is in the midst of filling out her suspension papers and still has access to her computer. She finds out that the killer is a guy named John Quinn. Unfortunately for Agent Lohan, Boss Moss is hip to her tricks and puts Janice Garafalo on the case. Janice figures out that Renee is helping Bauer and Renee is taken into custody.

Janice is also busy with Morris, who has shown up for Chloe. They end up forcing Morris to decrypt Agent Lohan’s laptop in exchange for clearing Chloe. It seems the FBI has a lack of level 6 programmers, and that’s what you would need to get the info off Renee’s computer. It got me thinking... if Morris and Chloe are that good with computers, I bet their kid will grow up to be some kind of computer superhero… like Neo in The Matrix or maybe he’ll even be able to turn all glowy and blue like that guy in Tron.

Chloe is pissed that Morris betrays Jack, but Morris does not want to raise little Tron all by himself, so he did what he had to do to keep Chloe out of jail. Chloe is ready to put her loyalty to Jack over her own family. She’s really the Bat-Girl to Bauer’s Dark Knight.

Meanwhile, as Madam President prepares for her press conference with her daughter, Ethan comes in to break the news about Burnett’s death and his part in unleashing Jack Bauer. Later, during the press conference, a reporter informs Ethan that he’s going to break the story about Jack and Ethan is convinced that Olivia, that little bitch, was the one to leak the information. The tension between the two of them had been heating up and it comes to a boil when Olivia reveals that someone else leaked the news and Ethan has to apologize. (Insert a Nelson from the Simpsons "Ha-Ha" here.)

Meanwhile, Agent Lohan was able to get Jack the info he needed about Quinn and she suggests he speak to, who else, That Seventies Senator. (Let’s call him 70’s) It seems that he had recently investigated Quinn’s company, Starkwood. So Jack breaks into 70's house and confronts him. 70’s stands up to Jack, but also hears him out. They both begin to understand each other a little more. Jack admits he has regrets, but his biggest regret is that the world needs people like him. It occurred to me that what Jack was saying here was similar to what Col. Jessup said in A Few Good Men. “You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.”

Then it occurred to me that Kiefer Sutherland played Lt. Kendrick in that movie. No wonder he thinks and acts that way, he trained under Jessup. And he’s right; we want Jack Bauer on that wall. We need him on that wall.

70’s sees Jack’s point, but he also gets through to Jack, and they agree to compromise. As the police bang on the door, Jack agrees to cooperate. But when the door is open, its’ Quinn and That Seventies Senator is suddenly “Red” in more than just name, because he is gunned down in cold blood. Man, Jon Voight was right, Quinn is good. And every bad deed he does seems to get blamed on Jack.

Quinn chases Jack just as Boss Moss and the FBI arrive at the scene. Quinn follows the trail of Jack blood into a trailer at a construction site. He shoots up the trailer hoping to hit his hiding adversary, but his world is turned upside down when Jack flips the trailer with a bulldozer. So now along with The Dark Knight and A Few Good Men, there’s also a little Bob the Builder in Mr. Bauer. Quinn and Jack face off and after a scuffle Jack kills Quinn with a screw driver. Like last week, I feel Jack misses a great “one-liner” opportunity here by not saying “Screw you!” to Quinn. But that’s just me, and I am no Dark Knight. I’m more of a Joker.

Next week, the Jon Voight bio-attack moves closer to fruition, while Jack and Tony take the J-Team show on the road.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at or post a comment below.

Monday, March 9, 2009

24- Season 7: 8 pm – Billy, Don’t Be Hero

8 pm

Damn you 24. You killed Bill Buchanan. You bastards.

Once again you’ve killed a beloved character. I hate you. But at the same time, it’s moments like this that make me love you. Bless you 24. And damn you straight to hell.

Tonight we pick up in the White House, where General Juma has captured Madam President and a number of hostages including Jack, Bill Buchanan, That Seventies Senator, Aaron and Olivia. The Prez agrees to broadcast a prepared statement, but she asks Juma to release the hostages first. Juma picks one of the nameless saps from the group, an obvious Star Trek Red Shirt if ever there was one, and instead of letting him go, he pops a cap in his skull.
I told you last week; General Juma = Mean Business.

So once again, the unthinkable happens… the President is broadcast reading a confession penned by Juma confessing her country’s atrocities. Outside, Boss Moss and Agent Lohan await the green light to attack, but the V.P. won’t give the order. I bet I know what Agent Lohan was thinking; V.P. must stand for Vice Pansy. It looks like it’s all over for the president and the hostages.

But wait... with Jack Bauer and Bill Buchanan in the room, nothing is ever over. It wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor and it’s not over now. Jack tells Bill that he found some canisters in the lockdown room and he opened the valves on them. Any minute now there will be enough gas to cause an explosion that will take out Juma and his goons. (And as they say at Christian campfires, it only takes a spark to get a fire going.) Jack tells Bill he’ll make a break for the room, drawing gun fire and igniting the room. That Seventies Senator interrupts, demanding to know what is going on. Jack tells him to shut up. But Bill stops Jack before he embarks on his suicide run and tells him that he heard Juma on the phone, getting fed intel from another source. Bill tells Jack that he has to find the source and keep the President safe, and then without warning, he makes a break for the door. Like Jon Bon Jovi himself, Bill goes down in a Blaze of Glory. Bill fires off a shot and blows the bad guys, and himself, to Kingdom Come. (I guess Kiefer Sutherland ain’t the only Young Gun in this posse.)

Let’s have a moment of silence for one of our all time favorite, and perhaps the best dressed heroes to ever grace the hallowed halls of 24 - Bill Buchanan. (As we listen to the song his wife Karen Hayes will no doubt play when she gets the news.) God speed Mr. Buchanan.

Jack doesn’t have time to protest when Bill springs into action. He has to seize the opportunity to take out the rest of Juma’s men. And as soon as they hear the explosion, Boss Moss and Lohan charge in, despite the objections of the Vice Pansy. A vicious fire fight ensues, and Juma’s men are taken out. Juma himself ends up in a confrontation with Jack. Unfortunately, Jack does not get off a snappy one-liner before he disposes of General Juma. I would have said, “Juma, you’re not going anywhere until you settle your bill… Bill Buchanan, that is.” And then I would have sent him to hell in a hail of bullets. Jack Bauer just shoots him. He’s a man of few words.
I’m a man of many words, as this blog would attest.

It’s important to note that Aaron “Big Red” Pierce is protecting the President and Olivia during the fracas. I’ve never seen so much heroism in one place at one time, and that was just the first 11 minutes of tonight’s episode. Later in the show, we see Olivia thank a shirtless Aaron for taking a bullet for her. She mentions something about Martha Logan, Aaron’s soul mate, but Big Red does not want to talk about it. And he doesn’t need any thanks either. That’s just how he rolls.

After the White House is secured, the President tells Ethan (the Secretary of Defense) to hire Olivia as a special assistant to replace some of the red shirts lost in the raid. Ethan protests, and with good reason. When he breaks the news to Olivia, she grows a set of fangs and practically bites his head off. She doesn’t trust him or anyone else in the White House. Judging from the day’s events so far, I can’t blame her.

Meanwhile Agent Lohan finally sees Jack feeling pain, as he gathers himself by his fallen comrade. But Jack doesn’t have time for the pain. He tells Renee about Bill’s information about the additional threat. But Boss Moss wants Jack taken into custody. If I had a nickel for every time Jack was supposed to go into custody, but then didn’t at the last moment, I’d have a lot of nickles. Agent Lohan sidesteps Boss Moss and gets the Secretary of Defense to let Jack interrogate Burnett. (This move also get’s Lohan suspended.) The idea is to let Burnett think that Jack is going to torture him, even though Jack is under strict instructions not to lay a finger on him. But Boss Moss feels this is kind of like putting Rosie O’Donnell in a room with a plate of Twinkies and expecting her to not eat them. It’s not going to end well.

And it does not end well, because Jon Voight and Speed from CSI send a dude named Quinn into the hospital to kill Burnett and take care of Jack. If ever there has been a guy at the right place and time, it’s this guy Quinn. Once Jack is alone and locked in with Burnett, Quinn drops a nerve gas smoke bomb down from the ceiling. He disables the cameras too. So he is able to kill Burnett and frame Jack. Jack comes to just before Boss Moss can break into the room. Jack escapes through the ceiling and is back on the run. He calls Boss Moss and tells him about the bizarre ceiling attack and urges him to focus on the continuing threat and not this decoy. Boss Moss is understandably upset, to say the least.

Next week, Jack is on the lamb, and ends up face to face with That Seventies Senator. And Morris is back, and may be forced to betray Chloe. (By the way, did you catch Chloe on Flight of the Conchords last week? It was Garfunkle-icious.)

Once again, farewell Bill Buchanan.
A lonely nation turns its eyes to you. Woo, woo, woo.

Damn you 24. Damn you straight to hell.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at or post a comment below.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Heidi Wallace is Cool

Before we get to tonight’s episode, some important business to attend to:

If you told me back when I started writing these 24 recaps that I would actually meet somebody from the show, not only would I have laughed at you, but you would probably have had trouble keeping a straight face too. Well, we’re definitely smiling today, but it’s for a different reason.

Today I chatted via email with Heidi Wallace, also known as Nurse Mitchell from the 4-5pm episode of 24.

Heidi hooked me up with a few screen caps from her appearance and informed me that you can now watch her episode on Hulu. You can catch her at the 21 minute mark.

Heidi said she had a blast shooting the episode, especially working with Cherry Jones (President Taylor). They shot the scene in Pasadena at St Luke's Hospital.

Stayed tuned for more from Heidi, because she has agreed to answer a few questions for us. If you want to submit a question, send me an email at Also, feel free to leave a message for Heidi in the comments section below (or email me and I will pass it on) and let’s show her that the “Back-in-Jackers” are her biggest fans.

(I can’t promise I’ll use everything submitted, but I’ll do my best to cover as much as I can.)

And now on to tonight’s two hour extravaganza. It’s kind of long, so go get coffee first.

24- Season 7: 6 pm and 7pm - House Party

6 pm

This evening they showed two episodes, probably because the first episode was really a set-up for the second hour. Or maybe it was to save energy. After all, Keifer did come on tonight and make a PSA about how 24 is helping fight Global Warming. And much like the atmosphere, things are heating up on 24.

It was all about the attack on the White House tonight. The news showed the US easily invading Sangala, but don’t be fooled. The Juma regime is a much more formidable foe than almost any other enemy this nation has ever faced. I mean, was Hitler able to build an all-powerful C.I.P. device? No. Did the Ayatollah Khomeini ever breach and occupy the White House? No. But General Benjamin Juma was able to do both in one day. That’s pretty impressive.

In tonight’s first episode we bid farewell to our old pal Dubaku, who is killed by an orderly in the hospital. It would be a major recurring theme throughout the night. The security in the hospital is so poor that an orderly can murder a major political prisoner right under everyone’s noses. Later we’d see the most secure building in the country breached as well.

Meanwhile, I tried to get into Costo last week without a card and I was stopped dead in my tracks. And I even tried sneaking in the back way through the exit. No luck. I’ve got to learn some of General Juma’s tricks.

Agent Lohan figures out that Dubaku did not die of natural causes and follows the orderly to a remote location where she discovers the staging area for the attack. She also spots General Juma and Dubaku’s son… who I like to call Li’l Dubaku, or Li’l D. She calls Boss Moss and lets him know the scoop before following the bad guys to the docks where they board a boat and head down the Potomac River. Agent Lohan leaps from the dock and catches the edge of the boat. She loses her gun and phone, but she is lucky that she doesn't get torn up by the boat’s engines, like that horse that jumps off the boat in The Ring. Once she’s aboard she spies Juma and the boys planning an attack. Then, after they scuba dive off to target, she grabs their plans. It seems to be a giant coloring book and Renee quickly realizes the objective is the White House. The humongous picture of the White House might have been her first clue. Li’l D spots her and she leaps off the boat, but Li’l D gives chase in a speed boat.

Meanwhile, Tony drops Jack off at the White House so Jack can go interrogate Ryan Burnett, who is the corrupt aide to the Senator from That 70’s Show. Jack has Chloe delete Ryan’s name from Dubaku’s list so they can get the info before he can lawyer-up, but Janice figures out that Chloe has been up to some shenanigans. (But not before she and Chloe exchange many suspicious glances.) Jack subdues Bill, in order to protect him from blame, and heads off in search of Ryan. Boss Moss alerts the President, just as she is trying to convince That-Seventies-Senator to drop the charges on Jack. Madam President pages Jack, but he pulls a “Han Solo” on the phone and zaps it with a taser. (“Boring conversation anyway.”) Jack gets a little quality time with Ryan and the taser gun, but the guards bust in on Jack faster than you can say “Don’t tase me, Bro.” So he does not get the location. Instead, he ends up under arrest.

Meanwhile, Juma and his boys swim underneath the White House and begin drilling their way onto the grounds.


Li’l D chases Agent Lohan and we get to admire her running… much like Chandler on Friends would admire Yasmine Bleeth running on Baywatch. (Run Renee, Run!) But Li’l D catches up with her and overpowers her, even though she clocks him with a shovel. Li’l D does not believe her when she tells him that Big D is dead and that Juma has betrayed him, but Boss Moss puts him down before he can kill Agent Lohan. They then warn the White House of the attack. It’s one of the best “I told ya so” moments in Jack Bauer’s life.

Juma manages to get past the laser defenses on the perimeter of the White House grounds because he has an inside man. (That’s what I needed at Costco.) A janitor, who seems to also be from Sangala, turns off the defenses and Juma is in.

First 24 makes a case for why torture is sometimes is an acceptable tactic in war-like conditions, and now it makes a strong case for racial profiling. I bet Hannity loves this show… and I bet Combs changed the channel to the Oxygen Network long ago.

It’s like what Jack said to That-Seventies-Senator when he was called reprehensible. He simply replied, “And you’re weak.”

Anyway, by 11 minutes into the second hour, Juma has gotten into the White House. He and his men make their way through the building, killing Secret Service Agents left and right. Jack and Bill scramble to get Madam President to safety. Bill realizes they are being tracked, so he takes the Prez’s tracking bracelet in order to lead Juma astray. He buys Jack enough time to get Madam President into the lock down room just before Juma gets to them.

So Juma gathers all of his hostages in the hallway outside the lockdown room. One of Juma’s men has a device that can pick the electronic lock, but Jack pulls a MacGyver and disables the lock with a reading lamp wire.

Back outside, we finally meet the Vice President, who will not authorize a rescue operation, despite Boss Moss and Agent Lohan’s pleas. They suspect Juma is bluffing, and they are right. But Juma calls his old buddy Jon Voight to get advice. Voight is busy watching TV and eating dinner. I can relate to this guy. He’s also hanging out with Speed from CSI: Miami, which is cool. We haven’t seen Speed since he was killed back in like season three of CSI. After they advise Juma to look for the President’s daughter, they play some darts. You gotta love these guys.

Meanwhile Aaron tries to get our girl Olivia out, but he is shot in the arm and she is captured and taken to Juma. But not before we learn a little about Morse Code from Aaron. Where you paying attention? Try and figure out what this says. (.. .-..---...-. -.-----..-)

Juma threatens to dice up Olivia on camera, so Madam President orders Jack to open up the door. Jack protests but eventually obeys and now Juma has the President. She tells him to let the others go. He responds by smacking her. The General means business, and his business is mean business.

Okay, so that’s a lot of reading for one day. I’m sure you have had enough. See you all next week.

In the meantime, I’m going to see if I can figure out a way to scuba dive under Costco.