24- Season 7: 9 pm – Why So Serious? Can’t You Handle the Truth?

9 pm

Did you see The Dark Knight? Remember the ending? (Spoiler alert!)

Batman takes the blame for the murders that Harvey Dent committed in order to preserve all the good that would be undone if Dent’s deeds were exposed. So now Batman is a fugitive. Commissioner Gordon explains to his son why Batman is allowing himself to be wrongly accused as the Caped Crusader speeds off into the night.

Of Batman he says, "Because he's the hero that Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now... and so we'll hunt him... because he can take it... because he's not a hero... he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a Dark Knight."

Well, there’s another Dark Knight, but he’s not in Gotham City, he’s in DC. And he wears a blazer instead of a cape. His name is Jack Bauer, and while others might be concerned about clearing their names, Jack is focusing on heading off the next impending threat against his country.

Let’s rundown tonight’s happenings, shall we? First of all, Agent “Lohan” Walker was looking like Lindsay Lohan more than ever tonight. And not the drunk, waif, coked-up looking Lohan. I mean vintage, “Mean Girls”, “I Know Who Killed Me” Lindsay Lohan. I really noticed just how good she looked when she was standing next to Janice… but then again, most anyone looks good compared to Janice. Hell, Morris started to grow on me by the end of his scenes with her.

Jack has a recording from the hospital and he sends a picture of Burnett’s real killer to Renee. Renee is in the midst of filling out her suspension papers and still has access to her computer. She finds out that the killer is a guy named John Quinn. Unfortunately for Agent Lohan, Boss Moss is hip to her tricks and puts Janice Garafalo on the case. Janice figures out that Renee is helping Bauer and Renee is taken into custody.

Janice is also busy with Morris, who has shown up for Chloe. They end up forcing Morris to decrypt Agent Lohan’s laptop in exchange for clearing Chloe. It seems the FBI has a lack of level 6 programmers, and that’s what you would need to get the info off Renee’s computer. It got me thinking... if Morris and Chloe are that good with computers, I bet their kid will grow up to be some kind of computer superhero… like Neo in The Matrix or maybe he’ll even be able to turn all glowy and blue like that guy in Tron.

Chloe is pissed that Morris betrays Jack, but Morris does not want to raise little Tron all by himself, so he did what he had to do to keep Chloe out of jail. Chloe is ready to put her loyalty to Jack over her own family. She’s really the Bat-Girl to Bauer’s Dark Knight.

Meanwhile, as Madam President prepares for her press conference with her daughter, Ethan comes in to break the news about Burnett’s death and his part in unleashing Jack Bauer. Later, during the press conference, a reporter informs Ethan that he’s going to break the story about Jack and Ethan is convinced that Olivia, that little bitch, was the one to leak the information. The tension between the two of them had been heating up and it comes to a boil when Olivia reveals that someone else leaked the news and Ethan has to apologize. (Insert a Nelson from the Simpsons "Ha-Ha" here.)

Meanwhile, Agent Lohan was able to get Jack the info he needed about Quinn and she suggests he speak to, who else, That Seventies Senator. (Let’s call him 70’s) It seems that he had recently investigated Quinn’s company, Starkwood. So Jack breaks into 70's house and confronts him. 70’s stands up to Jack, but also hears him out. They both begin to understand each other a little more. Jack admits he has regrets, but his biggest regret is that the world needs people like him. It occurred to me that what Jack was saying here was similar to what Col. Jessup said in A Few Good Men. “You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.”

Then it occurred to me that Kiefer Sutherland played Lt. Kendrick in that movie. No wonder he thinks and acts that way, he trained under Jessup. And he’s right; we want Jack Bauer on that wall. We need him on that wall.

70’s sees Jack’s point, but he also gets through to Jack, and they agree to compromise. As the police bang on the door, Jack agrees to cooperate. But when the door is open, its’ Quinn and That Seventies Senator is suddenly “Red” in more than just name, because he is gunned down in cold blood. Man, Jon Voight was right, Quinn is good. And every bad deed he does seems to get blamed on Jack.

Quinn chases Jack just as Boss Moss and the FBI arrive at the scene. Quinn follows the trail of Jack blood into a trailer at a construction site. He shoots up the trailer hoping to hit his hiding adversary, but his world is turned upside down when Jack flips the trailer with a bulldozer. So now along with The Dark Knight and A Few Good Men, there’s also a little Bob the Builder in Mr. Bauer. Quinn and Jack face off and after a scuffle Jack kills Quinn with a screw driver. Like last week, I feel Jack misses a great “one-liner” opportunity here by not saying “Screw you!” to Quinn. But that’s just me, and I am no Dark Knight. I’m more of a Joker.

Next week, the Jon Voight bio-attack moves closer to fruition, while Jack and Tony take the J-Team show on the road.


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at jack@backinjack.com or post a comment below.