Back in Jack: 24 Live Another Day: Ep 5.

Jack and Audrey, Sitting in a Tree… almost K-I-S-S-I-N-G

We pick up at the embassy, where Sexy Agent Morgan is bickering with the army guy that she one-upped to get custody of Jack Bauer. He can complain all he wants, but the fact is, he got beat by a girl. And you know what we say about that… HA HA!

The army guys demand Jack tell them where the flight key is, but Jack just grunts and struggles with the guards. This gives Sexy Agent Morgan time to slip out with the key. Morgan also grabs Jack’s ear comm and uses it to call Chloe. I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable using someone else’s earpiece like that. It’s kinda gross, like using someone else’s toothbrush. But Sexy Morgan ignores the potential earwax contamination and does what she needs to do. She just hopes Jack had plenty of Q Tips in the Jack Sack over the past four years he’s been in exile.

Chloe instructs Morgan on how to finish the encryption/upload process, which is basically to plug the thumb drive into the USB port. That was easy. Then Cross and Chloe spot the code that proves Tanner’s drones were hijacked. Navid and Ian work on taking control of the ten drones, but only get control of six of them once Chloe’s screen grabs of the magic code enable the good guys to shut down part of the hijacking program. Unfortunately, there are still six drones with six missiles each heading for London. To avoid detection, the drones blend in with UK traffic and drive on the left side, so there is no way to track them.

Back at the mansion, Margot visits Simone, who is in bed, nursing her pinky stub. Margot tells Simone not to blame herself for her lost finger. She can point the finger of blame Margot. Well no sh*t, Sherlock! (Not that Simone is in any shape to be pointing a finger at anyone)

Margot also releases a video proclaiming that her actions are in retaliation for the drone strike that killed her husband along with six children. But Navid tells Simone that he put something in the video code that would allow the good guys to track the signal back to their location.

Meanwhile, Mark Boudreau admits he was wrong about Bauer and has Jack brought to Heller. He also apologizes to Audrey, but she clearly has Bauer on the Brain. We find out that Heller was unaware of the civilian casualties of his drone strikes. Boudreau did not tell him in order to protect him. I don’t know. It seems like the President would be a little more aware that drone strikes often result in collateral damage. Anyway, Heller informs the Prime Minister that the biggest thing to hit London since The Spice Girls is potentially coming in the next few hours. (Unless Heller surrenders to Margot.) The Prime Minister is not pleased with this news, and also secretly wonders what Baby Spice is up to these days. You never really hear about her any more.

Ma Bauer

Jack and Heller meet and Jack tells Heller that the only chance they have of finding Margot is through and arms dealer that he knows. Heller asks for his name, but Jack won’t give it to him unless he gets put back in the field. He’s not going to let the government screw up their only lead. It’s like Jack’s mom, Ma Bauer, always used to tell him; “Dammit it, Jackie, if you want to do something right, you gotta do it yourself.”

But Heller refuses. Do you know what kind of hissy fit the Russians would throw if they found out Heller had Bauer and then let him go? Then Audrey comes into the room and it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Jack and Audrey… reunited and it feels so good. They obviously want to shag right there on the floor, but instead resist their primal urges after a tearful embrace. (Note: Shag is British for “have sex with.”)

Sure enough, CIA Programmer Jordan picks up Navid’s breadcrumbs and pinpoints the location of the compound where Margot’s hiding. Navarro and Ritter lead a team to the site. They must not have seen Zero Dark Thirty, because rather than taking a speedy helicopter to the compound, they decide to drive. But Sexy Morgan, who’s once again been taken off the case, calls Chloe who spots a redirect in the code and they realize the CIA team is headed to a decoy house. Suddenly, Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi hollers, “It’s a trap!” and Navarro desperately tries to evacuate his team before the missiles hit. The house blows up and not all of the CIA agents make it out.

Margot informs Navid that her son Ian has successfully learned how to fly the drones, so his services will no longer be required. He pleads with her not to shoot him, and asks her to consider Simone’s feelings for her husband. Unfortunately, Simone is watching the whole time and gives her mom the thumbs up to kill Navid, which is ironic since her mother had her pinky chopped off. So Margot shoots Navid in the head and now Simone is single.

Next week: Jack and Sexy Agent Morgan team up and search for the arms dealer. Meanwhile, Simone searches for a fingers dealer.

What did you think of this week’s show? Leave a comment below.