Thursday, September 17, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas, Ep. 5: I’m a Cowboy, on a Steel Pan I Fry

This week Top Chef opened with the contestants rising and shining from their beds. It was funny seeing Ashley first thing in the morning because she always looks like she just rolled out of bed, and this pretty much confirmed it.

Perhaps even funnier was Scarfy’s pajamas. His light blue tops and bottoms made him look like he was in hospital scrubs. It would have been great if they had opened this episode with the theme music to the show Scrubs, and when they got to the line about “I’m no Superman”, they could show Scarfy running around in his blue PJs, using his red scarf as a cape.

Anywho… each week it seems like the contestants don’t feel a lot of love from the judges. Well that would change this week, literally. The guest judge was Chef Tim Love. I can only wonder how many times this guy has said, “The secret ingredient is Love.”

First we had the high stakes Quickfire challenge, which would once again award the winner $15,000; however no one would get immunity this time around. The ingredient was based on a viewer’s poll in which cactus beat out rattlesnake. Freaking rattlesnake!! How great would that have been?

I could just hear the judges;
“This rattle is overcooked.”
“Mmmm, that venom marinade was really clever and tasty, but suddenly I don’t feel so good.”

So the chefs carefully descend on the table of cacti, trying not to get pricked while they prep. Most of the chefs are unfamiliar with the plant, except Mike I., who shares the secret of de-sliming a cactus; blanching it. (See, I learned something tonight.) The rest of the gang try a variety of things…
- Ashley makes cactus jelly donuts. Perhaps she would have won if she made crullers shaped like cacti, with sprinkles for thorns.
- Kevin made a pork tenderloin that was described as slimy. Should have blanched it, dude.
- Big Papi was leery of cactus because they are poisonous in Haiti. FYI, this guy has lived a harder and more interesting life than any of us. But he still finishes at the bottom.
- Scarfy uses tequila, another surefire ingredient, and ends up as a top finisher.
- Mike V. is one of the losers in this round. Will his temper and ego be his weakness or strength as the field narrows?
- Mike I. is sharp like a cactus, and wins the Quickfire. He needed that.

On to the Elimination Challenge. The gang must cook for cowboys. They head to Whole Foods to shop. It struck me that these people always seem to have such a better time shopping at Whole Foods than I do. Then it dawned on me… it’s because they are not paying.

Some of the chefs start buying pretty eclectic ingredients and I am thinking that they are missing the chuck wagon on this cowboy challenge. (For instance, Big Papi and Scarfy both make ceviche.) The group is then surprised when they are taken out to the desert and left to camp out in teepees. So they are cooking for cowboys, but sleeping like Indians.

Thoughts on the Elimination Challenge:
- Big Papi makes a voodoo barrier to protect his tent from snakes. Like I said, this man is far more interesting than you or me.
- Eli assumes the role of city slicker and whines about having to sleep outdoors.
- Mike V. assumes the role of kitchen slicker and whines about having to cook outdoors.
- While most of the other chefs bitch about the conditions, Laurine embraces it and happily cooks a hearty meal on the open fire. It’s the first time I really take note of her this season.
- I like Jennifer, but she needs to smile once in a while.
- Holy spoiled seafood, Batman. Robin makes a terrible prawn salad.
- Scarfy’s fish makes the judges sick. As a matter of fact, Tom spits it out. Never a good sign. He should loosen that red scarf, because he is choking.
- Robin, Big Papi and Scarfy end up on the bottom. Papi is there because he broke the golden rule; he made a second dish and it killed him.
- What’s with all of the backwards baseball hats? Is this Top Chef or Top Catcher?
- Mike V. (who harnesses his anger), Laurine, Ashley and Bryan end up in the winner’s circle.
- Bryan rustles up a cowboy win. It’s not just the desert heat, this guy is on fire.
- No surprise. Scarfy loses the challenge. We bid you adieu!! Pack your scarf and go.

Okay, it’s time for me to pack my knives and ride off into the sunset. Next week Penn and Teller magically appear as guest stars. I love those guys, so I am psyched.

Bon Appetite.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas Ep. 4- The French Connection

Tonight the stakes were high on Top Chef as two chefs were eliminated instead of just one. That’s because they upped the ante on the Quickfire Challenge, giving the winner immunity and a seat at the table during the Elimination Challenge and the loser gets a seat on the next Greyhound bus out of Sin City. The secret ingredient was snails, or perhaps I should say escargot, since there was a French theme running through zee whole episode. Although I must admit I was rather disappointed that neither of my favorite French foods, French Toast nor French Fries, were represented at all tonight.

Naturally this theme gave Scarfy, zee French contestant, a home field advantage. It was a sort of birthday present to him, as it happened to be his 29th birthday. We got to see him celebrate by getting drunk, folding his red scarf into a pair of skintight swim trunks and prancing into zee hot tub.

Thoughts on the Quickfire:
- I have never eaten a snail, and I honestly still have no desire to try them now.
- Could Ashley swear a little more? Watch your French, girl.
- Robin did a take on bagels, lox and cream cheese with snail. I thought that was interesting.
- Jennifer seemed intimidated by the ingredient, but she nailed the snail.
- Mike I. went with a Greek take on snails and it paid off, putting him in the top three and redeeming himself temporarily from his poor showing last week.
- Kevin won again, using something called bacon jam as his secret weapon. Bacon jam… I love this guy. As I mentioned, Kevin got immunity for the next round. His biggest challenge was to actually clean himself up and dress nicely because he got to sit at the table and eat with a group of esteemed judges at the Elimination Challenge.
- Jesse, Ashley and Robin were the bottom three. In order to determine who went home, they had an Amuse-Bouche cook off. One bite to save your life.
- Turns out Jesse bit the dust with her one bite, so she packed her knives and left.
- When dismissing Jesse, Tom Colicchio missed a golden opportunity to say “Please pack your knives and escargot.”

On to the Elimination Challenge, where the gang gets to cook for Joel Robuchon, who is basically zee Michael Jordan of French cooking. Also at the table will be a virtual who’s who of French cooking. I may not have caught all of their names, but I’ll take my best guess as to who was there. I believe it was Marcel Marceau, Inspector Clouseau, LeBeau from Hogan’s Heroes, PepĂ© Le Pew and Jean-Luc Picard.

The chefs drew knives and paired up based on French sauces and proteins. Once again, Bryan and Mike I. were paired up. I was hoping Ash and Ashley would be a team so that they could say something like “Let’s kick some ash.” But that was not to be.

Thoughts on the Elimination Challenge:
- Big Papi explained that there is distain between Haitians and the French. I wonder if he spit in the food when the cameras were off.
- Big Papi cooked frog legs and all I could think of was The Muppet Movie. Ironically, his partner was Robin, which is also the name of Kermit the Frog’s nephew. (Anyone remember The Frog Prince?)
- Mike V. and Bryan sibling rivalry resurfaced, particularly in Whole Foods, where they rough housed in the isles like a couple of 10 year olds.
- Mike V. was paired with Jennifer, so you knew you had another strong team. I was not surprised to see them as finalists.
- Scarfy did very poorly. Not only did the French guy screw up a French Challenge, but he screwed up using bacon, the “can’t miss” ingredient. In French, they would call that “meessing zee lay-up.”
- Question: When a French guy is sad, does he sing zee bleus?
- Bryan helped Mike I. deconstruct a béarnaise sauce and they ended up in the top two. When it came time to give and take credit, Mike I. wisely did not divulge just how much Bryan had to do with his sauce. He obviously learned his lesson from the last time. To his credit, Bryan did not throw him under the bus either.
- Hector and Ash were a team, which was the biggest case of opposites being teamed up since Paula Abdul and MC Scat Kat.
- By sitting at the table and eating, Kevin got to see things from the judge’s perspective. I bet that helps him going forward.
- Bryan wins again. I am seeing the thoroughbreds pulling away from the pack as we round the bend. Kevin, Mike V., Bryan and Jennifer seem to be the strongest horses in this race.
- Hector had problems with cooking and carving his meat and that cost him big time. He was eliminated. I told you the steaks were high.

Okay, it’s time for me to pack my knives and go too. Next week the chefs are out in the desert. I wonder if they will have to make dessert.

Bon Appetite.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas Ep. 3: Cooking Ain’t Preeti

Tonight I had to pinch myself to be sure I was not dreaming. For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs were presented with a pile of every kind of potato imaginable… except maybe for Mr. Potato Head. As an openly admitted potato junkie, I could not wait to see what they would come up with for the Potato Challenge. (Or the Potatoe Challenge, as Dan Quayle might say.)

The guest judge was former Top Chef Master contestant, Mark Peel. I thought it was great that they had a guy named “Peel” as a judge for the potato challenge. It got me thinking of other potential celebrity judges; Laura Flynn Boyle, Jerry Rice, Dane Cook, Carrot Top, Irving Fryar, Mike Judge, Julie Strain, Meatloaf, Peter Pan and John Oates to name a few. But never Edward Burns… or Andy Dick.

Thoughts on the Quickfire:
- The chefs frantically attacked the spuds, because potatoes can be a time consuming food to cook. At one point, Kevin offers Preeti his blanching water, but somehow she ends up using Ashley’s instead. This does not go over well with Ashley and she is preeti upset. Luckily for Ashley, things boiled over and she ended up in the top three.
- Meanwhile, Michael I. (Mr. Know-It-All) decides to cook a potato risotto and informs us that risotto is in fact a cooking style, and not a rice. While I did not know that, the smug way he said it made me want to dunk his head in Ashley’s stolen, boiling blanching water. He’s preeti cocky.
- During the judging, I felt bad for Eli, who used shelled pistachios and still managed to serve Padma a shell. That’s nuts.
- Good old Jesse was up to her old tricks; making a good dish and then screwing it up. This time she added too much cayenne to her potato soup. Having done that myself, I was hoping it would come back and burn her.
- Big Papi made some kind of fish and rambled on about Bob Marley. Something tells me that guy's got some good herb in his spice rack.
- Ash made sweet potato ice cream. I winced when I heard him decide he was making a frozen dish. That always seems to be a dangerous move on these shows. So many times the dishes just don’t get cold enough. But give him props, they loved his custard. That’s cool.
- I realized tonight that Ash’s name is Ash Fulk. I was wondering if he is any relation to Gaylord Faulker.

Eli, Ron and Jesse ended up on the bottom and Jennifer won the Quickfire, giving her immunity.

Then a guy walked in and for a minute I thought it was Dr. Bellows from I Dream of Jeannie. But it was not. It was an Air Force colonel who informed the group that the Elimination Challenge would be cooking for 300 troops and their families at a nearby air base.

The group broke into teams and Jennifer assumed the role of Executive Chef. By the way, Jennifer kicked ass in this role. In A Bronx Tale, the mob boss Sonny is asked if he would rather be feared or loved. It’s clear that Jennifer would rather be feared. I love that.

- Once again, Kevin impresses me. He takes that unassuming, fat guy persona and couples it with real cooking expertise. He and Eli team up and make a southern pork dish that I was drooling at. Mike and Mike made a pork belly dish with mustard and peanuts that will also haunt my dreams tonight. And that chili looked good too.
- Poor Big Papi and Jesse were the last two picked when they made the teams. It was like a sad scene from elementary school when they pick teams on the playground.
- Big Papi and Jesse made a chowdah (that’s how it’s pronounced) which Tom Colicchio was pretty heartless and condescending about it. However, the crowd loved it.
- Mike I. decided to make a second dish. Wasn’t he paying attention when Ashley tried that? It’s never a good move. It’s a move that eventually landed him in the bottom three, by way of the winners circle. Once he admitted he had nothing to do with the pork belly and everything to do with the under cooked shrimp, he was all done. (Unlike his shrimp.) Tom Colicchio was right, he did treat it as a throw away dish. As I said before, Mike I. is preeti cocky.
- Michael V. wins the challenge, kind of like Eli Manning following up Peyton’s Super Bowl win with his own. Remember? Brian V. was last week’s winner.
- Laurine was also in the bottom group. Who the heck is she? I honestly had no recollection of her from the first two episodes.
- It sure was ugly for Preeti. It was a bit sad that the girl who told us that 9/11 was the event that motivated her to become a chef is voted off while cooking for the very people and cause that inspired her.
- I give Laurine and Preeti a lot of props for not throwing each other under the bus. I know it’s a competition, but they cooked as a team and they went down as a team. Could you imagine Marcel or Hung in that situation?

Well, it’s time for me to pack my knives and go. I’m off to bed, with visions of pork bellies dancing in my head.
Bon Appetite.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas: Episode 2 - Oh Brother

Often times a contestant will say “Oh crap” when it comes to the Quickfire Challenge on Top Chef, this week they all said it because a craps table was wheeled out into the kitchen. Each chef rolled ‘dem bones and whatever number came up determined how many ingredients they had to use on their dish. It seemed like most were hoping for something not too high and not too low, like a number in the neighborhood of eight.

We started to learn a lot about the group from this second episode and this challenge.
- The brothers, Brian and Michael, have an interesting relationship. Michael has sort of a Jan Brady “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia” thing going about his older brother. During the Quickfire, Brian was quick to point out the Michael was possibly over complicating things with his liquid nitrogen antics, but lo and behold, it was little brother who won the challenge and the $15,000. Meanwhile, big brother was in the bottom four. So how does that taste, Marcia?
- Eve is ditz and if she was a character on Star Trek, she’d be wearing a red shirt. You had the feeling she’d be gone before long. It was no surprise that she was at the back of the pack again.
- Jesse seems to have real talent, but can’t seem to put it together yet. If she lasts a few more episodes, she might just become a factor, but she’s got to get her game on.
- Not exactly the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition for lady chefs this year. Jennifer, looks-wise, is probably going to be my Top Chef crush, but she does not have the personality to quite seal the deal yet. (Unlike like my girl Casey, who had all the right ingredients.) Thank goodness for Padma. (Love those boots.)

Then came the Elimination Challenge, which was to cater a bachelor and bachelorette party. They split into two groups, the boys and the girls. It was here that the other shoe dropped that I had been waiting for. There has always been a gay-factor on Top Chef, never more apparent than last year when they had a group called Team Rainbow. The gay-factor at times was so pronounced that I sometimes referred to the show as “Queer Eye for the Top Chef”. But that’s also part of the fun. Some of the most entertaining moments last year were when the gay men were eliminated and they sobbed their way through their exit interviews. (To be fair, some of the straight guys weeped as well.)

So we learned that a couple of the lady chefs are gay, and Ashley, the crunchy girl, started have issues with the concept of weddings and stag parties. Meanwhile, the men were thrilled to be cooking for the bachelorette party, especially when it took place poolside and all the guests were in swimsuits.

Here are some thoughts about the Elimination Challenge.
- Hector is a man’s man, and could easily have been a character in No Country for Old Men or From Dusk ‘Til Dawn.
- Cooking an octopus looks creepy. When that octopus went into the pan, it looked like a scene out of The Addams Family. (But it’s yummy.)
- Ron, the big lovable Haitian, will now be known on this blog as Big Papi. He’s the Ruben Stoddard of this season.
- A chicken wing is always a safe bet.
- I give Ashley props for trying two dishes, but she really dropped the ball with that second one. Jennifer warned her. I have a feeling Jennifer is going to rub a lot of people the wrong way, but she seems to know what she’s talking about most of the time.
- That new Sandra Bullock movie looks like crap. (And I don’t mean the game.)
- I don’t know what to make of Eli, the guy with the glasses, but he reminds me of one of the guys on Big Bang Theory.
- Kevin kicks ass.
- Why do they force the chefs to sit in the supply closet while the judges deliberate? Is it so you can see the Glad family of products in the background?
- The men won. Then all the fat guys jumped in the pool while the thin guys condescendingly watched from the sidelines.
- I’d like to see where that bachelor party went after the show was over. They are in Vegas, after all.
- The new Jenifer Aniston movie looks like crap. (And I don’t mean the game.)
- Eve and Jesse brought up the rear again, along with Ashley and Preetty… or whatever her name is. It was no surprise when Eve was asked to pack up and go. It was a mercy elimination. She did not jump in the pool, but she was clearly in over her head.
- Marcia strikes back. Brother Brian comes back strong and wins the Elimination Challenge. Sure, it’s a more prestigious award, but I think Michael might have been the bigger winner, with that $15,000 Quickfire.

Okay, that’s enough for this week. I gotta pack my knives and go now.
Bon Appetit.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Top Chef Las Vegas: Ep 1 - Viva Las Vegas

Top Chef is back and this time around we’re in Las Vegas. They wasted no time giving the show that Sin City flair when a line of showgirls pranced into the kitchen. It’s clear we are going to be in for a lot of surprises in Vegas just from this first episode. I mean, a contestant won $15,000 on this episode and another won immunity by simple drawing a gold chip. Anything can happen this year.

I love Top Chef. I really enjoyed Top Chef Masters, but it lacked the drama and venom that Top Chef always delivers. This is my first season of watching Top Chef both in HD and with the benefit of DVR. The first thing I noticed was that Padma looks great in HD. However, thanks to DVR, my posts may not always be timely. Like this one, I finally watched the first episode almost a week late.

I have not learned all of the characters yet, but here are a few quick observations.

- Did Padma have a cold? Her voice was a bit husky.
- What’s with the red scarf on the French guy? Was that his branding strategy so that he would stand out from the crowd, or is he just paranoid that we won’t remember he’s French? I have cleverly nicknamed this guy Scarfy.
- I have not figured out who I like and who I don’t yet. I have not picked my Top Chef crush yet either… although the blonde who’s vice was drinking too much and then doing something stupid is a strong candidate.
- Did the girl who won the Quickfire realize that kissing Tom Colicchio is inappropriate? Of course, if I won a Quickfire, I’d sure try to kiss Padma.
- I did not like the chick with the tattoo on her neck, and I was happy to see her pack her knives and go.
- There’s a lot of tattoos and piercings on display this year. Free spirits or damaged goods?
- I did like the bearded guy who won. He seems talented and like he might be a pretty cool dude. But it’s early.
- I kind of want to try deep fried steak, even though it’s a waste of good meat.
- I am not sure what I think of the brothers yet? Is that one guy obnoxious or is he one of my favorites? I can’t wait until they have to face off in an Elimination Challenge.
- Wolfgang Puck was an awesome judge… he whaled on some of those dished, and if I remember correctly, he threw a donut across the dining room.

Well, I gotta pack my knives and go now. The next episode is on tonight. I’ll try to get another blog up as soon as I can.

Bon Appetit.


(If you want to be on the update mailing list, send me an email to jack@backinjack.com)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Social Media Is Everywhere, But How Does It Affect Market Research?


Here's a quick recap I wrote on a recent social media event we hosted in New York.

On Friday, June 19, 2009, several experts on social media gathered at Advanced Focus in New York City for a panel discussion on social media and what it means for market research. In order to get a broad perspective of the subject, the panel was made up of people from a wide variety of industries including market research, technology, CRM and PR.

The panel members included:
Mike Rogers, Chief Brain - Brainloaf
Mike Carlon, Moderator - MarketVision Research
Tom H. C. Anderson- Founder & Managing Partner- Anderson Analytics
Susan Roth, Vice President, Online Qualitative – TNS
Leslie Campisi, Vice President & Partner - Affect Strategies
Rob Petersen, President - BarnRaisers Group

The event was sponsored by Brainloaf, an interactive/social media company based in Stamford, CT and Jack Campisi, VP of Client Solutions, hosted the two sessions.

While opinions varied on many topics, there were a number of interesting lessons gleaned from the day. As Tom Anderson would say afterwards in his blog; “…regardless of what social media means to me, to consumers social media can mean very different things to different people. These meanings/definitions/strategies can also change rather quickly for some individuals."

Mike Carlon summed up the day nicely for both the qual and quant sides of the fence...

“On the qualitative side, social media provides a new set of tools for gathering consumer insights. As consumers become familiar with blogs, social video sharing, and video based chats, moderators can use these tools to engage consumers using methods that seem "natural" to them. We agree that there will always be a need to conduct in person qualitative interviews but are excited about adding new tools to our tool box. On the quantitative side, the vast amount of "conversations" that consumer's have about brands and/or trends open up opportunities for insight mining using text mining. Large numbers of conversations can be mined for insight and trended over time. This seems like a natural fit for those tracking the impact of PR as well as buzz around new product launches.”

Coming from the technology angle, Mike Rogers helped explain the wide variety of tools available from the social media toolbox. But he was quick to add that before you choose your tactic, you must have a sound business plan and social media strategy. Otherwise you risk wasting a lot of time, effort and money.

So what was the final conclusion?
C'mon. This is social media. There are no FINAL conclusions. It's a constantly growing and evolving thing.

I guess it's safe to say that while there is a lot of common ground between social media marketing and social media for market research, there are also many significant differences. Social media for market research presents a unique set of challenges but also offers a very exciting new facet of communication and method of insight-gathering to the field.

To request a link to the video of the event, please visit http://www.brainloaf.com/.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

24- Season 7: 6 and 7 am – 24 Hours You’ll Never Get Back

6 am & 7am

You know, when I sit down to write these recaps I am always concerned about being funny, but after what happened tonight, I don’t feel any pressure. Nothing I write will be as funny as Kim Bauer flailing around with her arm on fire. Kim got her “Bauer On” tonight, and she wasn’t the only one. Both Kim and Agent Lohan sprung into action tonight, making me wonder if we might get a spin-off next year called Jackie’s Angels, with scantily clad Kim, Renee and Chloe taking orders from a now incapacitated Jack via a speaker phone. But who will be Bosley? Tony? Nah, he’s too dark. Aaron? Nah, he’s too quiet. I know… Janice.

Let’s get to tonight’s season finale. It’s 6 am and Jack has been forced to bust out Tony or the goons at the airport will kill Kim. Jack pulls a gun on Agent Lohan and even puts a slug in the other guard’s leg to show he means business. I’d love to know how many legs Jack Bauer has shot or stabbed in seven seasons. That’s Jack’s favorite method of administering a non-lethal wound. Jack lets Renee know that he is only doing this to protect his daughter right before Tony takes him hostage. When Tony did a similar thing in order to save Michelle a couple of seasons ago, Jack chastised him for putting his personal interests ahead of the mission. Mr. Bauer is now officially a hypocrite.

It turns out that Tony wants to use Jack’s infected body to reconstitute the virus. His gal pal Cara thinks that is a great idea, and even agrees with Tony when he suggests that he should get a promotion within the mysterious organization. Wait a minute… something is up with Tony. Is he really good, pretending to be bad? Or is he bad, pretending to be good after pretending to be bad? Maybe he a double, double, double agent, or a triple, reverse single agent, with a twist? I’m getting dizzy.

As the sun comes upon DC, Jack momentarily gets away and tries to kill himself in a pool of gasoline. That way the virus will be destroyed in the fire, but Tony stops him before he can light up. It seems the only person Jack Bauer has trouble killing is himself. (And that goes double for forgiving… more on that later.) They take Jack back to an operating area where a few doctors drain some of his spinal fluid to see if he can be used to make more pathogen. Meanwhile, Cara convinces Alan Wilson to meet with Tony and consider him for a bigger role.

Meanwhile, Ethan, the disposed Chief of Staff, returns to the White House to help Big Red retrieve the secret recording that will implicate Olivia in the murder of Hodges. Olivia gets out of her questioning session just in time to catch Ethan in her office and has him put into custody once she discovers the recording device hidden behind the picture on the wall. She has him detained and gets the disc from him. But Ethan was ready for her, and actually slips her a blank disc. Once he listens to the recording, he goes back and confronts Olivia. He tells her that she has to confess to her mother and then Madam President can decide what to do.

At the same time, Kim Bauer is still at the airport with the evil couple. Agent Lohan contacts Kim by phone at the gate and warns her. A shootout breaks out, and we never learn how the two bad guys manage to smuggle knives and guns into the terminal… especially on a day when we are told security would have been heighten because of the prior terrorist attacks. The woman is killed, but the guy slips away. It’s here that Kim’s “Bauer Genes” kick into gear and she ends up chasing the long-haired bad guy through the baggage areas and into the garage. Kim even yells “Dammit!” at one point, leaving no doubt as to whose daughter she is. When the bad guy’s car is shot at, it flips and catches fire. Kim knows they need that laptop to find her father, so she charges in and wrestles it away from the trapped bad guy. She emerges with the laptop and her sleeve on fire. As if she wasn’t the hottest chick on the show already, they have to go and light her on fire.

Alan Wilson is convinced to meet Tony face-to-face on order to see the medical report on Jack. He needs to determine Jack’s usefulness for replicating the pathogen. (I guess his email is down so they can’t just send him the file.) But in a moment alone, Jack learns Tony’s real motive. Everything he’s been doing has been to get himself close enough to Wlison so he can kill him. You see, Wilson was behind almost everything that has happened on 24… ever. He’s behind David Palmer’s assassination, he’s responsible for Charles Logan’s exploits and most of all, he is responsible for Michelle’s death. So Tony’s plan is to strap a bomb to Jack and blow Wilson straight to hell when he arrives.

You see Tony is a lot like Two-Face from The Dark Knight, except instead of getting his face burnt, he was killed and then brought back to life. He is a fallen hero so hell bent on revenge and justice that he will do whatever he has to, even if that means people will die.

Wilson shows up, but before Tony can detonate Jack’s C4 sweater vest, Agent Lohan swoops in on a chopper. Another fire fight ensues and now it’s Renee who starts channeling her inner Bauer. She hops on the side of a SUV and shoots her way to Jack. If they ever get married, their first song should be “I’ll Tumble 4 Ya”, because that’s just what she does. She leaps off the moving truck and tumbles right into Jack’s lap. Then she disarms his deadly sweater vest. My god, this girl is a catch. I bet she likes watching sports too. (By the way, just I spotted Annie Wersching, the actress who plays her, on an episode of Supernatural.)

Cara and Wilson manage to sneak off, like most bad guys do on this show. They see Tony and Cara calls him over. She embraces Tony but he shoots her, to her dismay. Once again, Tony steals a page out of Sean’s playbook from earlier this season. Sean also shot and killed his girlfriend, just before he shot himself in the side. Tony smacks Wilson around and then reveals that not only did he kill the love of Tony’s life, but she was pregnant with his son. Tony raises his gun but Renee and Jack show up and clip him with a gunshot. (I believe in the leg.) Tony reaches for his gun and gets shot in the hand. Tony and Wilson are taken into custody. It’s finally over.

No wait, not quite. We go back to the White House. At this point I had forgotten all about this plotline. The President’s husband seems to be in pretty good shape for a guy who was in critical condition a few hours ago. I wonder if he has that Wolverine mutant healing power. Olivia tells her mother and father about her shenanigans. Her father wants to cover Hodge’s murder up, but Madam President eventually decides to do the right thing and turns her daughter in.

We know the day is coming to a close when Chloe and Janice make peace. I think I will miss their battles the most in this off season.

Back at the FBI, Jack Bauer prepares to die, even without Indigo Montoya telling him to do so. Jack and Agent Lohan have a couple of close encounters, but Jack fails to use his last hours in the way that most guys would. No, instead of making sweet, sweet love to Renee, Jack meets with his new buddy, the Muslim Cleric and has a nice discussion about forgiving himself. (Because Jack Bauer doesn’t ask God for forgiveness, he forgives God, dammit.) Then he is sent into a coma to ease his passing. At last, the final curtain is about to fall on the life of Jack Bauer.

Meanwhile, Agent Walker goes to see Wilson before he is transferred. Walker is afraid the Wilson won’t talk and they may not get another shot at him once he gets his lawyers involved. So Agent Lohan takes matters into her own hands. The last time we see her, she incapacitates Janice and heads into Wilson’s holding cell with a look on her face that would make Tony Almeida proud. Jack may be infected with the pathogen, but Renee seems to have caught the torture bug.
But we’ll have to wait until next season to see what happens.

We end the season with Kim showing up at her father’s bedside. She insists that they attempt the controversial stem cell treatment. She knows the risks, but she’s willing to take it. If Jack dies there is no season eight and Elisha Cuthbert needs the work. Let’s face it; she hasn’t done much since Old School and The Girl Next Door.

So that’s it. Season seven is in the books.

I don’t know… once Starkwood was taken down and Tony went bad, this season got pretty darn silly, even by 24 standards. I’m still digesting it all, but I can’t say I am totally satisfied with that ending, But who am I kidding, by the time season eight rolls around, I will be as giddy as a little school girl. What did you think? Feel free to chime-in down in the comments section.

I hope you enjoyed reading my recaps. Now I have to think of other things to write about. Keep checking in between now and next season of 24 and please see the entry below for a little more on what’s going to be going on here at Back in Jack in the meantime.

Thanks.

Jack

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Drop me a line at jack@backinjack.com or post a comment below.